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Non-Review Review: Invictus

I have to admit being quite impressed with Invictus. One of the benefits of living in Europe, but also one of the burdens, is that we typically have a week or two to surf the reviews of any film about to open, as it has typically been previewed (and released) in America long before it arrives on our humble shores. On one hand, this allows us to make carefully considered film choices, but it also means that our optimism for an upcoming release can be bashed against the rocks of poor critical acclaim. Invictus didn’t secure a Best Picture nomination and it didn’t exactly blow the socks off reviewers. I know that a reviewer should go in to a darkened cinema leaving all expectations and preconceptions aside, but unfortunately this is the real world. Invictus isn’t a cinematic classic, nor the highpoint of anyone’s filmography, but it is a solidly constructed sports and politics epic with a superb leading performance and a skilled hand behind the camera.

Nelson Mandela - Nobel laureate, South African President, Springboks manager...

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We Made The Longlist!

Woot! We made the longlist for the Irish Blog Awards! That is all.

Artist impression of my state of mind at the moment. Nicolas Cage-ness may have been exaggerated...

The Wonderful Roger Ebert…

If you are in anyway interested in cinema, you know Roger Ebert. You already know that Esquire have put together a profile piece on the man, and also he has written a continuation (I was going to say ‘response’, but that would imply hostility) on his own blog. Both are probably the most essential film-related reading of the week.
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Tarantino Plans A ‘Southern’…

This article begins with a massive disclaimer. I keep a pile of salt in my backyard because I need to take every planned project from Quentin Tarantino with a grain of salt. It build up after all the Kill Bill, Vol. 3 and Casino Royale rumours. Anyway, Tarantino has a new project planned – a Western. But, being the man he is, it certainly isn’t going to be your average gun-slinging morality tale:

I’d like to do a Western. But rather than set it in Texas, have it in slavery times. With that subject that everybody is afraid to deal with. Let’s shine that light on ourselves. You could do a ponderous history lesson of slaves escaping on the Underground Railroad. Or, you could make a movie that would be exciting. Do it as an adventure. A spaghetti Western that takes place during that time. And I would call it ‘A Southern.’

It’s certainly a novel take on the genre, right?

There are two kinds of people in the world: John Wayne people and Clint Eastwood people...

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Captain America: Bob Hope With Better Abs…

I remember announcing last year that Captain America: The First Avenger was the movie in the Marvel canon I was most anticipating over the next few years. Well, it looks like the gods of movie-making are out to smite me for my doubts about Jon Favreau and Kenneth Branagh by giving me a taste of what exactly director Joe Johnston has in mind for the erstwhile superhero and super-patriot. I have to admit – after thinking about Iron Man 2 and reading all the casting and discussion on Thor – that this take on Captain America seems rather… mundane. To say the least.

He can punch Hitler in the face, but can he manage a chorus line?

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Life on Mars USA

Well, that was… weird. I seem to be the only person on the planet with love for the American iteration of Life On Mars. It got a lot of hate for being too conventional, for not being as ‘out there’ as its British predecessor and basically being unoriginal. And I can appreciate those critiques having watching the first season – they are all relatively fair. On the other hand, isn’t it a little unfair to measure it directly to the original series, like comparing apples and oranges? New York of the 1970s was a very different place from Manchester of the 1970s and the new series had its own aesthetic. I won’t pretend that the show was a masterpiece of television history, but I do think that Life on Mars certainly deserved a second season.

Is there life AFTER Mars?

Note: It seems impossible to discuss a show like this without discussing the (incredibly divisive) ending. I will be doing that, in gory detail, below. However, as per usual, I will flag it a paragraph or two beforehand, so you can avert your eyes or navigate away or do whatever you need to do. Consider yourself forewarned.

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Oceanic Airlines, We Salute You…

Lost returned to Sky One recently, for its sixth and final mind-bending season. In the fourth season it was flash-forwards, in the fifth season it was time travel and this year it looks like it’s alternate dimensions. In fact, this season opens with an alternate universe where the Oceanic 815 flight from Sydney never crashed. Yes, there exists a timeline where an Oceanic Airlines flight made it from one side of the world to another. I’m a big fan of linking seemingly disconnected threads from various strands of fiction together – like postulating that Fight Club is a sequel to Calvin & Hobbes – so I was quite impressed to learn that Oceanic Airlines have a long and varied history of aviation disasters across any number of movies and television shows.

Note that flying that low over London is incredibly dangerous... and perfectly in keeping with oceanic's standards of safety...

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Who Puts Anti-Piracy Warnings on Legitimate DVDs?

Something just occurred to me while I was working through my Family Guy DVDs over the weekend. I was just learning to hate the damn piracy advertisements – you know the ones, with the “You wouldn’t steal a… [insert noun here]” ones – and I wondered what the hell are these things doing on a DVD I paid good money for. I forked out money over the counter for these bad boys, why do I have to sit through these painful little snippets every damn time I put them in the player? You can’t even skip them on some DVDs! Seriously, what’s the point of having an anti-piracy advertisement on a legitimate DVD? “We know you won’t do it, but in case you were thinking about it…” or “we know you care enough about the industry to buy a legitimate copy, but here’s a lecture anyway…”? It’s like lecturing about truancy at a school meeting or handing out condoms to elderly couples. It’s redundant and it’s annoying. Surely money would be better spent advertising on the web or on television or outside in media where people you buy pirate media are likely to actually see it, rather than simply irritating those of us buying originals.

I’m sorry, that just really ticks me off.

When Cinemas Strike Back…

Hmm… I knew there wasn’t good news on the horizon when Disney announced they were steamrolling ahead with their plan to truncate the cinematic run of Tim Burton’s upcoming Alice in Wonderland adaptation. Obviously driven by the home entertainment market (and the fact that parents would be look for distractions for the kids as the summer holidays approach), they want to release the DVD 12 weeks after the movie premieres, rather than the standard 17 weeks. As you can imagine, this has ticked off the cinemas who make more money the later into a film’s release you see it, so it looks like we may have a boycott – in the UK at least. 95% of 3D screens may not be showing it. Including Cineworld, the largest cinema in Dublin.

Through the looking glass but not necessarily on the big screen...

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How Studios Put Together Valentine’s Day…

News broke last week that Julia Roberts received $500,000 a minute for her screentime in this year’s romantic ensemble comedy Valentine’s Day. Yes, for six minutes of screentime, she got $3m (which really doesn’t seem that impressive without the zeroes – so $3,000,000). However, that wasn’t the most interesting part of the coverage of the movie – well, at least for me. A bit of commentary revealed how Hollywood can attract so many big names under one matinee sign (which is, undoubtedly, a key part of the movie’s success).

Here's to you, Mrs. Roberts(on)...

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