Posted on January 15, 2010 by Darren
A whole host of on-line news sources have jumped upon the review of Avatar which appeared in L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican’s official daily paper – though it’s been somewhat distorted as it filters through the the huge game of Chinese whispers that is the internet. The paper wasn’t exactly thrilled with the movie’s political undertones, but it acknowledged, as we all must, that it was incredibly beautiful. It’s just interesting how the Vatican’s opinions on popular culture – such as the reversal of their position on the paganism of the Harry Potter series, for example – have become an interesting point of discussion and on-line debate over the last year or so.
Look, kids! Priests can be hip, like... Ewan McGregor, right? The kids still like Ewan McGregor, don't they?
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: avatar, cardinal ratzinger, catholic church, church, Giovanni Maria Vian, L'Osservatore Romano, pope benedict, pope john paul, ratzinger, vatican | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 15, 2010 by Darren
Something’s happening… And it’s happening all over the East Coast… And it’s just happening to people without a reason… And… oh, that’s what’s happening? What the hell was M. Night Shyamalan smoking? Probably some killer grass.
It's a car crash of a movie...
Note: This review contains spoilers. But I’ll flag them beforehand. Still – you have been warned. Oh, and – if you’re looking for a recommendation – the only appeal of the film is in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. It’s the movie that Lesbian Vampire Killers wishes it were.
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: ecology, evolution, film, hitchcock, horror, intelligent design, M. Night Shyamalan, mark wahlberg, Movie, non-review review, plants, review, science, the happening | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 14, 2010 by Darren
I like to think that I can appreciate a movie for what it is. I was even able to find something positive to say about The Land of the Lost, for crying out loud! Still, this doesn’t stop Lesbian Vampire Killers from being one of the worst films I’ve seen in quite some time (The Reader and Deception are the only other two movie that stick out so strongly in my mind). Paul McGann is literally the only thing that is anyway half-decent in the film, and – much like his lead role in Doctor Who – he is sucked into the mindless vacuum of crap which surrounds him. Who the hell thought this was a good idea? Really?
Look, Paul McGann, if your religious relics couldn't keep you from getting tied up in this mess, they're probably not going hold off that rampaging sexually-liberated blood-sucker...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: hammer, hammer horror, james corbet, lesbian vampire killers, lesbian vampires, matthew horne, Movie, non-review review, paul mcgann, review | 1 Comment »
Posted on January 13, 2010 by Darren
As anyone who visits the site will know, Inglourious Basterds was my film of last year. I just dug it – the post-modern aspects of it, the juxtaposition of Tarantino’s style with the historic backdrop, the ending. And I’m more than delighted to think that Christophe Waltz will earn an Oscar statuette for his work, making it three years on the trot of amazing Supporting Actor turns. But will the film itself score one of the big nominations? Of that, I’m not quite so sure.
That's one way of convincing Academy members...
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: 81st academy awards, academy, AMPAS, best picture, best picture 2010, best picture race, inglourious basterds, Movies, oscar nominations, oscar nominees, oscar race, Oscars, oscars 2010, quentin tarantino, weinstein company | 4 Comments »
Posted on January 13, 2010 by Darren
Before Star Trek, JJ Abrams had his eye on another geek property. The Mission: Impossible franchise has had bit of a rocky history, with a deconstruction helmed by Brian dePalma and an explosively mind-numbing shaving commercial of a sequel from John Woo. With the Bourne franchise already checking the box for an American spy movie franchise, it seemed that the odds should have been against JJ Abrams’ action movie vehicle. In fairness, he doesn’t manage to entirely revive the franchise or provide a kickstart to a cinematic series, he merely provides a solid action movie with a bit more sparkle than most. In hindsight, it almost seems like it was just practice for his directing duties on Star Trek.
Somebody's Cruisin' for a bruisin'...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: ethan hunt, jj abrams, mission impossible iii, mission: impossible, mission: impossible 3, Movie, non-review review, review, tom cruise | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 12, 2010 by Darren
It seems that, despite Watchmen and Avatar, 2009 may not have been the year of the almost completely naked blue people. Between Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Observe and Report, it was the year of the shopping mall security officer. There was a lot of discussion branding this as the ‘grown up’ Paul Blart movie. If ‘grown up’ means in awful taste and incredibly soul-destroyingly depressing while featuring a heap of sex, violence and drug use, then yes – this is a grown up film. And when it works, it does beautifully. But it simply doesn’t work consistently enough.
Ronnie really needs to 'cop' on to himself... no?
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anna faris, comedy, film, jody hill, mall cop, michael pena, non-review review, observe and report, ray liotta, review, seth rogan | 2 Comments »
Posted on January 11, 2010 by Darren
… but don’t worry, we’ll be getting a brand spanking new reboot in 2012.
Maybe they will even call it Brand New Franchise. As the word has spread like wildfire, apparently it’s all over. There will be no Spider-Man 4. All my villain-listing and Vulture-defending were in vain, as were my nervous anticipations of seeing John Malkovich with wings or the faint aspiration of seeing three solid Spider-Man films produced (it’s like a do-over for the last one). Sony have reached in panic for their giant reset button and announced that they will have a reboot in cinemas in just over two years. They have a writer, but no script, no cast and no director. That’s going to be a superheroic effort.
Spider-Man finds himself being strangled by Sony...
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: 2012, Movies, news, reboot, sam raimi, sony, spider man, spider-man 4, tobey maguire | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 11, 2010 by Darren
Much like the titular train, The Taking of Pelham 123 runs almost perfectly to schedule, making all the mandatory stops. Sure, it is confined to the storytelling tracks of a cut-out hostage drama, checking all the necessary fields. It doesn’t do this in anyway exceptionally, nor does it do anything original or daring. Still, Tony Scott is a very talented director and he has two more-than-capable leads to work with, so we have a perfectly mediocre action film to work with.
Travolta trains (geddit?) his sights on a hostage?
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: denzel washington, film, hostages, john tavolta, Movie, non-review review, pelham 123, review, subway, the taking of pelham 123, tony scott, train | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 10, 2010 by Darren
What an odd film. Part buddy comedy, part adventure movie parody, Land of the Lost is a chronic mess of a film. However, I see cult appeal looming on the horizon. At the very least, it should become a solid stoner movie.
The only thing scary than one lumbering extra in a fake-looking reptile costume is five lumbering extras in fake-looking reptile costumes...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anna friel, camp, comedy, danny mcbride, film, kitsch, land of the lost, Movie, non-review review, review, will ferrell | Leave a comment »
Posted on January 9, 2010 by Darren
There’s been a lot of to-ing and fro-ing on the next Bond film, provisionally titled as Bond 23. This week has been a bonaza of news about the project, which has been slowly taking shape through dribs and drabs of information. On one hand, we had the official confirmation of what everybody really knew (but it’s nice to know for sure): the movie won’t get made until someone buys MGM or the rights. The other tidbit was much more interesting. Bond has a director: Sam Mendes. I think it’s a great idea.
Things at MGM are so bad that Bond can't even afford dry-cleaning...
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: bond, bond 23, daniel craig, film, james bond, mgm, Movies, news, peter morgan, sam mendes | Leave a comment »
