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Non-Review Review: The Ruins

The Ruins is a decent enough little horror movie. In fact, it’s a cut above the average mould. Eschewing the torture porn or the gratuitous slasher movies, The Ruins is – after a fashion – a creature feature in the style of eighties. It can’t hold a candle to the true classics of the genre, like The Thing, but it offers a perfectly decent substitute. What’s more is the way that – like all good horror films – it is able to generate pure menace from what should be a ridiculous premise.

Worst. Vacation. Ever.

Note: Towards the end of this review, I’ll discuss some items which might be considered spoilers. Nothing as glaring as the ending, but some stuff you might not want to know ahead of time. I’ll flag it a paragraph beforehand, so don’t worry. If you want a recommendation, it’s an old-fashioned horror which works like any truly effective monster movie: the threat is not just outside the group, but also within it. It won’t rock your world and it isn’t a masterpiece, but is worth a go.

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Non-Review Review: The Happening

Something’s happening… And it’s happening all over the East Coast… And it’s just happening to people without a reason… And… oh, that’s what’s happening? What the hell was M. Night Shyamalan smoking? Probably some killer grass.

It's a car crash of a movie...

Note: This review contains spoilers. But I’ll flag them beforehand. Still – you have been warned. Oh, and – if you’re looking for a recommendation – the only appeal of the film is in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. It’s the movie that Lesbian Vampire Killers wishes it were.

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