non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Darren

What I’m about to say is grounds for excommunication from the church of film geekdom, but I am not a huge Stanley Kubrick fan. I admire and appreciate his work from a technical level and there are a few of his films I would credit as genuine classics – and yet there are others that I am markedly indifferent to. Cinematic purists will balk when I suggest The Shining – that most commercially Hollywood production – is my favourite of Kubrick’s film. Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) is widely regarded as a classic of Cold War cinema, but I must concede that I can’t help but feel a little disconnected from it. Of course quite a large portion of the film (particularly the broader comedy) is still hilarious, but the film refers to a world that I never really knew – I was born in the twilight of the Soviet Union, disconnected from this heated level of nuclear paranoia.

There's nothing strange about the love for this film...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Cold War, doctor strangelove, dr. strangelove, Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb), film, george c. scott, john f kennedy, Movie, non-review review, Peter Seller, peter sellers, review, slim pickens, Soviet Union, stanley kubrick, Strangelove | 8 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Scream Blacula Scream

Posted on September 17, 2010 by Darren

I curse you with my name. You shall be… Blacula! Vampire!

– the only thing worse than Dracula is racist!Dracula

I have to concede, Scream Blacula Scream (what a title!) is actually pretty high end blaxploitation. Sure it’s cornier than my foot after a long hike, but it never truly descends into the realm of self-parody that we seem to have (at least retroactively) come to expect from such blaxploitation films. This is actually a sequel to the previous year’s Blacula. Although I wasn’t really going in expecting much, what I got was certainly better than a large portion of the generic Hammer Horror films of the era. This is certainly helped no end by the lead performance from William Marshall who – even in a silly cape – manages to lend proceedings a touch of class.

Fangs for the memories...

Note: I have to concede that I am pretty ticked off with MGM HD. They’ve been running this as the UK High Definition Premiere of “Blacula”, but it’s actually the sequel. Not that I’m complaining too much, but it feels weird to see the sequel before the original.

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, Blacula, Blacula Scream, blaxploitation, dracula, film, Hammer Film Productions, horror, Movie, non-review review, Pam Grier, review, scream blacula scream, William Marshall | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Clash of the Titans

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Darren

It has been a couple of years since the last proper swords-and-sandals epic. It’s hard to look past the glossy stylised design of 300 and the discussions of racial politics which surrounded it. Troy and Alexander were hardly solid examples of the genre which had been at the height of its popularity more than half a century ago. Aside from Gladiator, it’s hard to point to another big screen classical action movie that manages to do what it says on the tin. Although it’s a long way from perfect, Clash of the Titans at least delivers the intriguing visuals and impressive action that one expects from the genre. I was pleasantly surprised.

A friendship in ruins...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Ancient Greece, clash of the titans, classics, film, Gemma Arterton, greece, greek mythology, hades, liam neeson, louis leterrier, Movie, non-review review, ralph fiennes, review, rome, Sam Worthington, swords and sandals, unleash the kraken, zeus | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Tron

Posted on September 14, 2010 by Darren

Tron is a cult classic, and one which truly earns its strips. Unlike, say, Blade Runner, which is frequently identified as a “cult classic”, I don’t think it’s possible to make a strong argument that Tron is simply a masterpiece which underperformed upon its release. As much as modern movies are seriously indebted to Tron and the way it redefined what computers could offer a movie-making experience, it’s still a deeply flawed movie which will only really appeal to a very select bunch of filmgoers. Thankfully, I discovered, I am one of them.

Seeing red (and other primary colours)...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: animation, arts, blade runner, cgi, film, flynn, jeff bridges, Movie, non-review review, review, sarn, tr0n, tron, tron: legacy, Video game | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Terminator Salvation

Posted on September 13, 2010 by Darren

There are perhaps some franchises which really shouldn’t endure after the departure of the creative brain behind the operation. Some would argue that The West Wing should have ended after Aaron Sorkin departed, and I would argue that Warner Brothers should probably reboot Batman after Nolan leaves, rather than continuing his saga (since there’s no way they’ll let that franchise lie fallow). Terminator is perhaps another example. The first two films are iconic, towering science-fiction masterpieces which perfectly blend big ideas with visceral thrills – The Terminator is a tightly constructed urban thriller, while Terminator 2: Judgement Day helped define what a blockbuster should look like. However, once Cameron departed, the franchise was somehow allowed to continue limping on. After the really awful Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines, I was willing to let the series die. However, somehow we got a fourth movie. And, despite all my misgivings and preconceptions, it isn’t bad. It isn’t great, but it isn’t terrible.

Sam Worthington needs a Bale-out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anton yelchin, Avatar (2009 film), christian bale, common, films, james cameron, John Connor, kyle reese, mcg, michael ironside, Moon Bloodgood, Movies, non-review review, review, terminator, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, terminator: salvation, West Wing | 13 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Bounty Hunter

Posted on September 10, 2010 by Darren

It’s a movie which stars Gerard Butler as a bounty hunter. It should at least feature infinitely greater amounts of gratuitous violence, even if it was always going to be just this boring.

If you want to get revenge on a partner, you can take them to jail... or you can make them watch The Bounty Hunter...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, Bounty Hunter, film, gerard butler, jennifer aniston, Movie, Movies, non-review review, review, romantic comedy, Romantic comedy film, the bounty hunter, Ugly Truth | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Funny People

Posted on September 9, 2010 by Darren

Funny People is the very definition of “self-indulgent”. It’s a series of comedians from both the big leagues – movie stars – and the smaller circles – the improv stand-up circuit – reflecting on how difficult life is for an entertainer. Be it the generalisation that showbiz types are all cynical and disconnected to the point of being anhedonic, or the observation that fame and success typically come with a high personal cost. Of course, coming from director Judd Atapow – who carved out his earlier career with comedies centred on everyman (okay, maybe “slacker”) types like Knocked-Up or The Forty-Year-Old Virgin – a film about the types of circles that he moved in was a risky venture, one which would definitely represent a move away from the “common man” appeal of his earlier films. And at least those films had the gift of brevity.

My girlfriend would like you all to know that apparently I wear shirts like this...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: actor, adam sandler, big daddy, comedy, eric bana, funny people, George Simmons, happy gilmore, judd atapow, non-review review, review, seth rogan, the 40-year-old virgin, the forty-year-old virgin | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: From Paris, With Love

Posted on September 7, 2010 by Darren

Mister Morel, I watched Taken, I knew Taken, Taken was a film of mine. Mister Morel, this is no Taken.

No can do, apparently...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: action, arts, bond, from paris with love, From Russia With Love, john travolta, jonathan rhys-myers, luc besson, monty python, Movies, non-review review, paris, pierre mortel, review, Roger Moore, sean connery, spies | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Executive Decision

Posted on September 6, 2010 by Darren

Are you manly? I mean really manly? In a way, Executive Decision is kinda what I was hoping for when I heard about The Expendables. It’s not an excellent movie, or even an exceptional one – in fact, it can be cynically described as “Die Hard on a plane” – but it’s a perfectly serviceable action movie that gets bonus points for never trying to be anything more than what it is. There’s not tangential romantic plot or half-hearted attempts at characterisation: the movie is all business. And that business is attempting to give its audience testosterone poisoning.

Not quite plane sailing ahead...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: action, Andreas Katsulas, animation, Armand Assante, arts, B.D. Wong, die hard, Executive Decision, films, Halle Berry, J.T. Walsh, Joe Morton, john leguizamo, Kurt Russell, Middle East, Movie, Movies, non-review review, oceanic, oceanic airlines, oliver platt, president, review, reviews, steven segal, tom clancy | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Jurassic Park

Posted on September 3, 2010 by Darren

Jurassic Park is one of the “big” blockbusters which defined the nineties. It’s easily recognisable and has thoroughly entrenched itself deep in popular culture – along with Independence Day or Terminator 2. Also, like the two aforementioned films, it’s actually quite good. Of course, coming from director Stephen Spielberg, the man who invented blockbuster cinema with Jaws, can’t hurt.