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Non-Review Review: Predators

It must be genuinely one of the toughest and most unforgiving tasks in moviedom to produce a belated sequel to a beloved franchise. Even Spielberg and Lucas messed up in producing the long-delayed Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or Lucas’ prequels to Star Wars. The original film has just been lying there so long that it has built up its own legacy and reputation – to the point where it’s arguably not so much a film as a legend. Okay, maybe the original Predator and the modern Predators shouldn’t really be classified as legends in the same way as the earlier examples (or, say Chinatown and its disappointing follow-up The Two Jakes), but this is undeniably a cult franchise. The good news is that – while far from perfect – Predators actually lives up to its legacy quite well.

Preying for a way out...

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Apparently You Don’t Have to See Inception to Know it’s Good…

Sorry, I couldn’t resist posting on this. Apparently the reviews for Inception are good… even from those who haven’t seen it. ExBerliner, a German magazine, published a review of the film before its first ever press screening (giving it three out of four). When confronted, the author confessed it was a fake, and acted as if there was nothing wrong:

I went into the theatre and sat down. A moment later, Ms. Troester came in and, as fate would have it, took a seat directly in front of me. I leaned forward and asked if she was from ExBerliner. She said that she was. Our conversation thereafter went like this:

“I’m just wondering, how did you get to see ‘Inception’? Friends of mine in L.A. only got to see that the other day. And I didn’t think there were any long-lead previews.”

For just a moment, it seemed to me, she looked slightly surprised. Then her composure recovered. She smiled. She seemed very agreeable. “We didn’t,” she replied.

“I’m sorry?”

“We didn’t see the movie. With our deadline…there was no time.”

“So why did you run a review on it?”

“We didn’t. We just did a piece.”

“But you gave it three stars.”

“Well, hearts,” she demurred. “Three hearts out of four.”

“Hearts or stars, lady – you reviewed the film.”

She shrugged. Her expression remained blandly serene; I might have been asking to borrow a cigarette.

I tried again: “What I don’t get is, if you hadn’t seen it, and you had no time to see it before you went to print, why do a review at all? You could have just previewed it…‘Oh, this looks pretty cool, it’s by the guy who did “The Dark Knight”…’”

Troester: “But that’s what we did.”

“No, you didn’t. You offered an opinion on the worth of the movie. You said, ‘here, Nolan’s not as original as he can be.’ You gave it stars, or hearts, or whatever. I’m sorry, but that’s a review.”

“If you’re unhappy, you should talk to the editor,” she said.

“But you’re the film editor. It’s your decision, surely?”

She hesitated. “I’m not sure why this matters to you.”

“If you hadn’t said that line about originality – if you hadn’t offered an opinion on the actual worth of the film – I mightn’t have so much trouble with this. But there’s no way you could have known whether Nolan was ‘as original as he can be’ this time around, or not. Or if it was a three-star movie and not a four-star one. Because you hadn’t seen it.”

It’s a great piece. I’ll spare you a rant about responsible journalism and all that sort of nonsense (if you want that, you can read my opinion of Variety’s decision to sell advertising space in its review section), but it’s just a crazy story about how fast and loose some publications can be. I won’t be seeing Inception until next Friday, and I won’t be writing a review before that.

Stay tuned for my upcoming review of Peter Jackson's version of The Hobbit...

It’s Back to the Future Day! (Debunked)

Today (6th July 2010) is a very special day. It’s the date that Marty McFly arrives in the future.

We have to go back, Marty!

Now, where’s my hoverboard?

Edit: Apparently it’s a big hoax. Got me going anyway, I should learn to be more skeptical of such things. The closest similar date is actually 21st October 2015, the date Back to the Future II is set.  Or we could just celebrate the 25th anniversary of the release of the first film. My bad, sorry!

Non-Review Review: Terminator 2 – Judgement Day

Terminator 2 is a pop culture classic, a film that single-handedly made Arnold loveable despite films like Junior and Jingle All the Way, typecast Robert Patrick as a distinctly unpleasant individual and reminded us that not all teenage protagonists had to be eye-roll inducingly bad. Spielberg’s Jaws is frequently regarded as “the first blockbuster”, but I think the case can be made that Terminator 2 redefined the kind of summer movie we saw – for better or worse, it laid down a blueprint which has been followed countless times since.

Prepare to be blown away...

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Non-Review Review: Crazy Heart

We all know the story. Artists are apparently particularly self-destructive, especially those who write country and western songs. Crazy Heart isn’t exactly a boldly original film by any stretch of the imagination – in fact, it’s typically predictable up until the end – but it does have a thing or two working in its favour, which elevates it just a bit above these almost conventional films. The first is a rather endearing soundtrack which is – in many ways – better written than the film itself. The second is Jeff Bridges.

Jeff Bridges plays your heartstrings...

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Trailer Park

I was delighted over the weekend to be asked to take part in a joint blog post with the rather wonderful Frank over at the Pompous Film Snob, outlining my favourite trailer and why. The article’s well worth a look and features some fantastic contributions. There’s a lovely selection right there. Anyway, he got me in the trailer frame of mind and I thought I’d maybe just post some of my favourite trailers for non-movie-things here, as a kind of a spin-off.

This post is rated "A" for awesome...

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Non-Review Review: The War of the Worlds

Stephen Spielberg helmed something of a loose science-fiction trilogy in the early years of this century. A.I. and Minority Report are still relatively contentious (perhaps the former more than the latter) when it comes to discussing the place of his modern output in the context of his wider filmography. However, it’s the third film of the three which I’ve always been most fascinated with, despite the fact it has been mostly forgotten on his somewhat impressive list of accomplishments. Never afraid to stick up for a film that most people seem to have just shrugged their shoulders about, I’m going to stand up for the not-quite-so-little-but-not-so-big-you’d-notice-him guy. I think that War of the Worlds is the best film Spielberg has directed in the last decade.

This invasion hasn't got three legs to stand on...

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Win Tickets to Irish Premiere of Get Him to the Greek…

Hey there, the always cool guys over at Universal are looking for suggestions for questions for a Q & A session with Get Him to the Greek stars Russell Brand and Jonah Hill that will follow the Irish premiere next Tuesday night. They’ve also got a competition for a few tickets to the event itself. If you want to check it out, just pop on over to their facebook, right here.

The competition isn't THAT serious...

Non-Review Review: Airplane!

Surely you can’t be serious?

I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.

The lads over at Anomalous Material are running a ‘greatest comedy of all time’ tournament at the moment, which is well worth a gander if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m embarrassed to admit that I haven’t yet seen all 128 movies. What I have seen, however, is Airplane!, and I can assure you that it deserves serious consideration for the crown.

A take off of all your favourite films...

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Kick-Ass

Remember how I said during my review of The Ultimates that Mark Millar was a love ‘im or hate ‘im writer, sometimes within the same work? Well, Kick-Ass offers Millar at his best and at his worst. He gets the superhero genre, understands why and how it works the way it does. That’s why he’s so good at deconstructing and reconstructing it. He grasps the escapism element and knows his target audience like the back of his hand. However, he’s a writer who refuses to ever accept that there is such a thing as “too far”. There is no taste, there is no top to go over. But, more than that, there’s no restraint. And there’s the problem with Kick-Ass: for a novel so interested in giving us a relatable protagonist and heroes grounded in “the real world”, it’s too absurdist to really work.

"They should call him ass-kick..."

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