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Non-Review Review: Rock of Ages

Posted on June 12, 2012 by Darren

Rock of Ages actually works quite well as a microcosm of the eighties – in both good and bad ways. It is loud, entertaining, engaging, shallow, beautifully constructed, hypocritical, energetic, charming, tasteless and somehow strangely irresistible in places. While the movie doesn’t necessarily always work, it is a perfect piece of cultural counter-programming to the summer’s sporting events. Light, fun and just a little dazed and confused, Rock of Ages is self-aware enough that it never collapses under its own weight. While it’s unlikely to be remembered as the best of the summer, it is a charmingly cheesy (if occasionally clumsy) power ballad musical that does exactly what it says on the tin.

He’s already made his marker…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: 1980s, Adam Shankman, alec baldwin, arts, Catherine Zeta-Jones, David Hasselhoff, Def Leppard, Diego Boneta, Hairspray, Julianne Hough, mary j blige, miami vice, paul giamatti, rock of ages, russell brand, Shopping, sport, tom cruise, United States | 3 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Scream II

Posted on May 20, 2011 by Darren

Today, we’re reviewing the entire Scream trilogy. Sadly, I’ll have to wait to get a look at the latest instalment, but reviews of the first three will be going on-line throughout the day.

I actually like Scream 2 a great deal – perhaps as much as I enjoyed the original Scream. Which, to be honest, takes me by surprise because it’s a much weaker movie in a lot of ways, the most obvious being the fact that it sort of fizzles out in the third act. Still, there’s just something about the cheeky and energy of the sequel that grabs my attention and keeps it, as if moving the series from a stereotypical high school and into a college film class. Of course, as Randy the resident film buff points out, the only thing more stereotypical than high school slasher movies are college slasher movies, but there’s just something cool about the fact that most of the cast (rather than just Randy) are relatively genre savvy this time around.

Film Buff-y?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Drew Barrymore, Horror film, Jamie Kennedy, Joshua Jackson, liev schreiber, List of Scream characters, Omar Epps, Red Right Hand, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Scream, Scream 2, Slasher film, Timothy Olyphant, tom cruise, top gun, wes craven | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Tourist

Posted on April 29, 2011 by Darren

In theory, The Tourist should be great fun. After all, the last time we had a high-octane romantic adventure thriller, we ended up with the genuinely entertaining Knight and Day. And, if anything, Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie should represent a large step-up from Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Unfortunately, the movie doesn’t quite deliver. Mistaking twists for plot and assuming that strong leads can make up for underwritten roles, the film flails around rather randomly, alternating between a genuinely exciting little European thriller and fairly paint-by-numbers twist-a-minute adventure, it never manages to set a particular tone, and leaves its two actors struggling to stay afloat amid the rather wonderful Venetian scenery.

Tour of duty?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: angelina jolie, Banged Up Abroad, cameron diaz, films, johnny depp, Movie, Movies, non-review review, paul bettany, review, steven berkoff, tom cruise, Tourist, True Lies, United States | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Firm

Posted on April 28, 2011 by Darren

The Firm would be an entertaining little thriller, if it ran maybe half-an-hour shorter. John Grisham’s legal thrillers were pretty much the gold standard for lawyer-related movies during the nineties, with any number of movies adapted freely from his books (notably in the format of “The [insert noun here]” like “The Firm”, “The Client“, “The Rainmaker“and so on). It’s a shame, because I believe that The Firm might have, with a little judicious editing, had the capacity to be the best Gresham adaptation out there. Instead, it’s too bloated to really make an impact.

It's no coincidence that "lawyer" and "liar" sound so similar...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: David Strathairn, film, Firm, Gary Busey, gene hackman, Hal Holbrook, holly hunter, John Gresham, john grisham, Keanu Reeves, Lincoln Memorial, Movie, non-review review, review, the firm, tom cruise | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Knight & Day

Posted on January 23, 2011 by Darren

This post is part of James Bond January, being organised by the wonderful Paragraph Films. I will have reviews of all twenty-two official Bond films going on-line over the next month, and a treat or two every once in a while.

Much like Mission: Impossible, while I was watching Knight & Day I couldn’t help but get the impression that Tom Cruise really wanted to be James Bond. And, at the risk of being controversial, if an American actor were ever chosen, I think Cruise would fit the bill nicely. Indeed, Knight & Day feels more like a sort of traditional Bond film than Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace have, and its that sense of endearing nostalgia which really makes the film worthwhile. In a film season packed with disappointing films, Knight & Day is an entertaining and engaging romp which might make you smile as you spend two hours with it.

It's a romantic action comedy, and it has the big guns attached...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, james bond, James Mangold, Knight and Day, Marc Blucas, mission: impossible, non-review review, Paul Dano, Peter Sarsgaard, review, Roger Moore, tom cruise, tomorrow never dies | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Mission Impossible

Posted on January 22, 2011 by Darren

This post is part of James Bond January, being organised by the wonderful Paragraph Films. I will have reviews of all twenty-two official Bond films going on-line over the next month, and a treat or two every once in a while.

I can understand you’re very upset.

Kitrich, you’ve never seen me very upset.

Tom Cruise really wants to be James Bond. I mean, I think that’s the driving force behind the Mission: Impossible films, an attempt to construct an American James Bond franchise around the character of Ethan Hunt – they certainly aren’t the biggest of the blockbuster movies, and yet Cruise has used his influence to produce a trilogy of films (with a fourth one in the works). Between that and Knight & Day, I think the role of a globe-trotting secret agent action hero just appeals to the actor. I think he pretty much wants to be an American James Bond and – truth be told – I think he’s a great candidate for it.

Just hangin' out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Brian dePalma, ethan hunt, films, imf, impossible mission force, mission: impossible, Movies, non-review review, review, tom cruise, your mission | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Mission Impossible II

Posted on November 9, 2010 by Darren

The single best description of this movie I have ever read was that it was “a two-hour long shaving commercial.”

I hope that thing has Cruise control...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Dougray Scott, ethan hunt, GoldenEye, imf, john woo, mission: impossible, Mission: Impossible II, non-review review, review, spies, Thandie Newton, tom cruise | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Minority Report

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Darren

I don’t love Minority Report. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a well-made film – perfectly entertaining and cleverly directed by a director who is one of the best living today – but it just doesn’t feel consistent for me. The whole doesn’t necessarily add up to the sum of its parts, as it were.

They should probably screen their officers better...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: colin farrell, destiny, fatalism, fate, free will, future, max von sydow, minority report, philp k. dick, pre-cog, pre-crime, samantha morton, science fiction, stanley kubrick, steven spielberg, tom cruise | 7 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The War of the Worlds

Posted on June 24, 2010 by Darren

Stephen Spielberg helmed something of a loose science-fiction trilogy in the early years of this century. A.I. and Minority Report are still relatively contentious (perhaps the former more than the latter) when it comes to discussing the place of his modern output in the context of his wider filmography. However, it’s the third film of the three which I’ve always been most fascinated with, despite the fact it has been mostly forgotten on his somewhat impressive list of accomplishments. Never afraid to stick up for a film that most people seem to have just shrugged their shoulders about, I’m going to stand up for the not-quite-so-little-but-not-so-big-you’d-notice-him guy. I think that War of the Worlds is the best film Spielberg has directed in the last decade.

This invasion hasn't got three legs to stand on...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: adaptation, aliens, film, h.g. wells, hg wells, invasion, mars, martians, Movie, non-review review, review, spielberg, stephen spielberg, the war of the worlds, tom cruise, tripods, war of the worlds | 11 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Mission Impossible III

Posted on January 13, 2010 by Darren

Before Star Trek, JJ Abrams had his eye on another geek property. The Mission: Impossible franchise has had bit of a rocky history, with a deconstruction helmed by Brian dePalma and an explosively mind-numbing shaving commercial of a sequel from John Woo. With the Bourne franchise already checking the box for an American spy movie franchise, it seemed that the odds should have been against JJ Abrams’ action movie vehicle. In fairness, he doesn’t manage to entirely revive the franchise or provide a kickstart to a cinematic series, he merely provides a solid action movie with a bit more sparkle than most. In hindsight, it almost seems like it was just practice for his directing duties on Star Trek.