review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Mission Impossible III

Posted on January 13, 2010 by Darren

Before Star Trek, JJ Abrams had his eye on another geek property. The Mission: Impossible franchise has had bit of a rocky history, with a deconstruction helmed by Brian dePalma and an explosively mind-numbing shaving commercial of a sequel from John Woo. With the Bourne franchise already checking the box for an American spy movie franchise, it seemed that the odds should have been against JJ Abrams’ action movie vehicle. In fairness, he doesn’t manage to entirely revive the franchise or provide a kickstart to a cinematic series, he merely provides a solid action movie with a bit more sparkle than most. In hindsight, it almost seems like it was just practice for his directing duties on Star Trek.

Somebody's Cruisin' for a bruisin'...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: ethan hunt, jj abrams, mission impossible iii, mission: impossible, mission: impossible 3, Movie, non-review review, review, tom cruise | Leave a comment »

Alan Moore’s Run on Swamp Thing – Saga of the Swamp Thing (Books #1-2)

Posted on January 12, 2010 by Darren

Before Alan Moore was the superstar writer of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V For Vendetta, Watchmen or even From Hell, he was a writer at DC Comics. While he wrote some truly fantastic Superman stories (collected in the well recommended deluxe edition of Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?), he was most famously associated with a run on Swamp Thing. When he took over writing duties on the title, Swamp Thing was a series on the verge of cancellation. Which meant that he had a huge amount of freedom to work on the title, with the capacity to do just about anything he wanted.

It isn't swamped with continuity...

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Filed under: Comics | Tagged: alan moore, alec holland, arts, comic books, Comics, dc comics, John Constantine, john tottleben, league of extraordinary gentlemen, review, swamp thing, Swamp Thing: Earth to Earth (Vertigo), the anatomy lesson, the monkey king, the saga of the swamp thing, vertigo | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Observe and Report

Posted on January 12, 2010 by Darren

It seems that, despite Watchmen and Avatar, 2009 may not have been the year of the almost completely naked blue people. Between Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Observe and Report, it was the year of the shopping mall security officer. There was a lot of discussion branding this as the ‘grown up’ Paul Blart movie. If ‘grown up’ means in awful taste and incredibly soul-destroyingly depressing while featuring a heap of sex, violence and drug use, then yes – this is a grown up film. And when it works, it does beautifully. But it simply doesn’t work consistently enough.

Ronnie really needs to 'cop' on to himself... no?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anna faris, comedy, film, jody hill, mall cop, michael pena, non-review review, observe and report, ray liotta, review, seth rogan | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Taking Pelham 123

Posted on January 11, 2010 by Darren

Much like the titular train, The Taking of Pelham 123 runs almost perfectly to schedule, making all the mandatory stops. Sure, it is confined to the storytelling tracks of a cut-out hostage drama, checking all the necessary fields. It doesn’t do this in anyway exceptionally, nor does it do anything original or daring. Still, Tony Scott is a very talented director and he has two more-than-capable leads to work with, so we have a perfectly mediocre action film to work with.

Travolta trains (geddit?) his sights on a hostage?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: denzel washington, film, hostages, john tavolta, Movie, non-review review, pelham 123, review, subway, the taking of pelham 123, tony scott, train | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Land of the Lost

Posted on January 10, 2010 by Darren

What an odd film. Part buddy comedy, part adventure movie parody, Land of the Lost is a chronic mess of a film. However, I see cult appeal looming on the horizon. At the very least, it should become a solid stoner movie.

The only thing scary than one lumbering extra in a fake-looking reptile costume is five lumbering extras in fake-looking reptile costumes...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anna friel, camp, comedy, danny mcbride, film, kitsch, land of the lost, Movie, non-review review, review, will ferrell | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Hurt Locker

Posted on January 6, 2010 by Darren

I’ve always said that great movies take the audience on a trip somewhere, so it’s really appropriate that The Hurt Locker brings viewers on a trip to hell. Or as close as it is possible to get to hell on earth. A place where flies roam the bodies of the still living in the desert heat or where even the cats walk with limps and scars or where the dead are stuffed with explosives to mount an attack upon any member of the living not callous enough to know better than to care. This is Iraq, where anything – and anyone – could turn out to be fatal and this is the story of those who survive there, those who die there and – against unlikely odds – those who thrive there.

Sadly, Guy Pierce's improvised retelling of "Moon", complete with homemade space suit, did little for troop morale...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: guy pierce, iraq, iraq war, jeremy renner, kathryn bigalow, Movie, non-review review, ralph fiennes, review, the hurt locker | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Quantum of Solace

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Darren

It seems that the cast and crew took the entirely wrong message out of the hugely successful (commercially and critically) Casino Royale. A brilliant combination of fancy stunts and grittiness that called to mind the series’ recent challengers in the Bourne series, Royale reinvented Bond for the naughties, in much the same way as GoldenEye did for the nineties. Unfortunately, Quantum of Solace seems to be based around the assumption that the reaction to Casino Royale was based solely around the modern aspects of the film, rather than the fusion of the old with new, so Solace ends up being Royale without the knowing grin. And it’s a shame, because the knowing grin is part of what makes Bond Bond (perhaps moreso than gadgets, gizmos and world domination plots). Don’t get me wrong, the action in the sequel is nothing short of fantastic (possibly surpassing even its progenitor in the action sweepsteaks) and the movie is well put together, but it just lacks the firm sense of identity which defines the best of the Bond movies.

Bond admits he might be getting a bit old for these crazy college nights out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bond, casino royale, daniel craig, film, ian fleming, james bond, Movie, non-review review, quantum of solace, review | 1 Comment »

Non-Review Review: My Sister’s Keeper

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Darren

Dying kids are a story device that should always be considered very carefully before you use them as a storytelling device. On one level it’s because it’s a very tough blow to deal the audience, but – on a more sophisticated level – because it can horribly misfire and seem like blatant emotional manipulation. Which, in fairness, all movie-making is – but you don’t want the audience cottoning on to that fact or you’re ruined. The illusion is shattered. Unfortunately My Sister’s Keeper isn’t smart enough to be aware of either of these risks in framing a story around a dying child suffering from cancer, so it smashes through both ideas like two large window panes before staggering blindly through the china shop of the tangental moral issues it raises. And yes, even those awkward and ham-fisted analogies I just fed you are more subtle than the movie itself.

Cameron Diaz really wants the part of Blofeld in Bond 23...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: abigail breslin, alec baldwin, cameron diaz, film, grief, jason patric, loss, Movie, my sister's keeper, non-review review, review | Leave a comment »

Doctor Who: The End of Time, Part II

Posted on January 1, 2010 by Darren

That was much better. I mean, there’s still a whole host of half-baked ideas clogging up the narrative (the Naismiths, the Master’s superpowers), but it works a lot more fluidly mainly because it manages to both embrace the sheer ridiculousness of what it’s doing (featuring a Star Wars homage in a flight across the Channel and a cantina scene which seems to exist solely to demonstrate all the aliens created during the run) with some fantastic performances. It would be hard to tell if Tennant has ever been better than he is here, but he nails his final episode as everyone’s favourite Timelord. That Russell T. Davies keeps his hand mostly away from that giant reset button installed in his office helps no end.

The Doctor feels the worst New Years hangover ever

Note: This review will be discussing the episode in depth (including spoilers). If you are looking for a quick recommendation, it’s a yes – as if you weren’t interested anyway. It might not represent the best regeneration story ever written for the show (give me The Caves of Androzani) but it is an emotional farewell to the Davies/Tennant era.

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Filed under: Television | Tagged: bbc, david tennant, doctor who, john simm, regeneration, review, Television, the doctor, the end of time, the end of time part 2, the master, timothy dalton | 2 Comments »

Robert Kirkman’s Run on Ultimate X-Men – Vol. 7-9 (Hardcover)

Posted on December 23, 2009 by Darren

Ultimate X-Men is a tough title to get a read on. The fact that the run has been broken down into blocks by all manner of superstar writers means that there’s really no consistent underlying principle feeding through the eight-year life of the title. On the other hand, the fact that none of these big name writers like Mark Millar or Brian Michael Bendis could create a book living up to the series’ potential indicates that maybe there wasn’t a writer who could steward the book through its entire life cycle. Ultimate Spider-Man serves in many ways as a fulfillment of the promise of the Ultimate line, it’s almost a single, decade-long story of growth and development, the very evolution of a world of superheroes. Ultimate X-Men is very much the opposite, the constantly bending backwards over itself, jolting, starting and reversing as it seems unable to decide where exactly it’s going at any given moment. Robert Kirkman’s run is perhaps the best examples of the series’ strengths and ultimately (ha!) its weaknesses.

Somebody's been watching Terminator a bit too often...

Note: Some of Aron Coleitte’s work is covered in the Hardcover Volume 9 (with the rest of his short run spilling over into the Ultimatum Hardcover). If I can bring myself to pick up Ultimatum, I will run a review of his rather short tenure on the title. This review is only concerned with Kirkman’s run – up until the end of the Apocalypse arc.

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Filed under: Comics | Tagged: 1990s, apocalypse, bishop, cable, comic books, date night, magical, marvel, marvel comics, pheonix?, retrospective, review, robert kirkman, sentinels, the magician, ultimate apocalypse, ultimate marvel, ultimate universe, ultimate x-men, x-men | Leave a comment »