non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Batman – Mask of the Phantasm

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Darren

To celebrate the release of The Dark Knight Rises, July is “Batman month” here at the m0vie blog. Check back daily for comics, movies and television reviews and discussion of the Caped Crusader.

There is a legitimate argument to be made that Batman: Mask of the Phantasm is the best Batman movie produced prior to Christopher Nolan taking over the film franchise. While I narrowly prefer Batman Returns, it’s hard to deny that this animated take on the character from the creator behind Batman: The Animated Series isn’t a superb exploration of the Caped Crusader and his world. Kevin Conroy is still, after all these years, my favourite actor to play Batman, and I can’t help but feel like the movie deserves a lavish re-release to celebrate the pending release of The Dark Knight Rises.

You’d have to finally go batty to do this in the long-term…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alfred pennyworth, Andrea, batman, Bruce, bruce wayne, Christopher Nolan, danny elfman, Dark Knight Rises, Dick Sprang, film, frank miller, gotham, gotham city, Harley Quinn, joker, kevin conroy, Movie, non-review review, Phantasm, review, Shirley Walker, tim burton | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Ghost Rider – Spirit of Vengeance

Posted on July 6, 2012 by Darren

I’m convinced that there must be a half-decent Ghost Rider movie to be made. In fact, I’m sure that Nicolas Cage already made it, in the form of the deliciously pulpy Drive Angry, which touched on a lot of the grindhouse and B-movie qualities one expects from a movie featuring a stunt driver with a flaming skull who sucks souls from criminals. In contrast, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance feels like it’s trying a little too hard. The script feels just a little bit too stilted and conventional, while the direction seems to overcompensate, feeling gimmicky to the point of being distracting and almost disorientating.

Hell’s Angel…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, Brian Taylor, Camera, ciaran hinds, Crank (film), Drive Angry, film, ghost rider, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, hulk, Idris Elba, Johnny Blaze, Mark Neveldine, Movie, Movies, nicolas cage, non-review review, review, Satan | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Dracula (1931)

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Darren

I have a soft spot for classic Universal horror. Not that it should come as a surprise – I’m a sucker (ha!) for some vintage Hammer Horror as well, and all other forms of classical horror (even if they may occasionally veer into the realm of kitsch). It’s really hard to overstate the massive influence that the 1931 Universal version of Dracula had on the subsequent adaptations of Stoker’s truly iconic novel. I honestly don’t believe that the character would the same without Bela Lugosi’s truly magnificent central performance, as seen here. Sure, I’m less than convinced about the ending, but most of Tod Browning’s adaptation is a feast for the eyes and pulpy horror classic.

Stairway to heaven?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, art, Béla Lugosi, Bram Stoker, Carla Laemmle, Count Orlok, dracula, film, frankenstein, horror, Jonathan Harker, Lugosi, Movie, non-review review, Nosferatu, Renfield, review, Romania, Stoker, Tod Browning, universal monsters, vampire, Van Helsing | 9 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Peacemaker

Posted on July 3, 2012 by Darren

It’s interesting to look back at George Clooney’s early road to movie stardom. Indeed, the actor’s first leading roles seem like movies that really should have been star-making turns, but just weren’t. There’s obviously his portrayal of Bruce Wayne in Batman & Robin, a performance not quite as bad as the film around it, but there’s also his roles in films like The Peacemaker. The Peacemaker also was the first film released under Spielberg’s Dreamworks company, and it’s hardly an auspicious début. It’s not that The Peacemaker is a bad film. It’s a very well made, and the production values are excellent.

However, the problem is the premise itself, the plotting, the pacing and the script. The Peacemaker feels like it really wants to be a Tom Clancy thriller, and it really wants us to accept George Clooney as a more dynamic Harrison Ford. Unfortunately, it feels like all the plot points, characters and motivations all came second-hand. There isn’t one thing here that hasn’t been done before, and done better, and those parts aren’t even assembled in an especially original way.

The name’s Clooney. George Clooney.

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Americans, Barack Obama, batman, Cold War, george clooney, Goran Višnjić, harrison ford, history, Imperial Russian Army, Mimi Leder, National Security Advisor, nicole kidman, non-review review, Peacemaker, review, Soviet Union, Twentieth Century, United States | 3 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Men in Black 2

Posted on June 29, 2012 by Darren

I have to admit, I’m not the biggest fan of any of the Men in Black films. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike, it’s just that they tend to be enjoyable and entertaining… and yet completely forgettable. Of the bunch, Men in Black II (or MIIB) is probably the most forgettable. Again, it’s not that it’s terrible – although some elements flat-out don’t work – just that there’s not really anything exceptional about it either. It’s a reasonably competent comedy adventure, even if it’s never an especially good one.

Black up there a minute…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Barry Sonnenfeld, film, Johnny Knoxville, Jone, josh brolin, Lara Flynn Boyle, Men In Black, Men in Black II, Men in Black III, Michael Stuhlbarg, Movies, non-review review, Patrick Warburton, review, Smith, tommy lee jones, will smith | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Boyz N The Hood

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Darren

Boyz n the Hood remains a powerful, moving and depressing piece of cinema. Director John Singleton has arguably failed to match this impressive debut effort, but there’s no shame in that. Most directors will go entire careers without offering a film that so effectively captures a slice of life. Reportedly based on a lot of the director’s own experiences growing up in South Central L.A., it’s a very strong and very personal piece of film, and one that hasn’t been diminished in the years that followed its release.

As happy as Larry?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: African, African American, Arts and Entertainment, Birth control, Boyz n the Hood, Cuba Gooding, DJ Khaled, ethnicity, film, Health, Hip hop, Hood, Internet Movie Database, Jerry Maguire, John Singleton, laurence fishburne, los angeles, Movie, non-review review, Reproductive Health, review, SAT, Shinee, Singleton, Skateboard, South Central LA, South Los Angeles, Television | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Fast Five

Posted on June 26, 2012 by Darren

Fast Five reminds me a lot of the kinds of cars that its leads drive. Now, please excuse me if the metaphor is a bit clunky. I know nothing of cars. However, whenever we cut to inside one of these enhanced driving machines, it’s clear that virtually every unnecessary component has been stripped out in order to make room for more relevant pieces of equipment. The passenger seat, for example, has been removed and replaced with some canisters I can only assume allow the car to go faster. In many ways, Fast Five feels a bit like that. I knows exactly the film that it wants to be, and it knows exactly what it needs to be that sort of film. Anything else – whether wit, sophistication or character development – is all just dead weight between fast one-liners, impressive action sequences and effective stunt work. And, I am not ashamed to admit, I actually quite enjoyed it on its own terms.

Let’s Rock ‘n’ Roll…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: characters, Chris Morgan, david tennant, Dominic Toretto, Dwayne Johnson, fast & furious, Fast Five, film, Internet Movie Database, Justin Lin, List of The Fast and the Furious characters, men, Morgan, Movie, movie trailers, non-review review, Paul Walker, People, review, tommy lee jones, Vin Diesel, Wikipedia, Yahoo! Movies | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Take Me Home Tonight

Posted on June 22, 2012 by Darren

There’s something strangely charming about Take Me Home Tonight. I say “strangely” because I’m not blind to the movie’s many awkward flaws. I can spot the predictable plotting, the douchebag entitled protagonists and the shallow “high school crush” romance. None of these are any less conventional than the plot’s attempt to conceal saccharine romanticism with cheap lowbrow humour. I can see those problems with the film, but for some reason I think it works well in spite of them. I think the strongest aspect of Take Me Home Tonight is not the eighties setting (though that helps), but the sense that Topher Grace may have finally found his niche.

We can dance if we want to…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: art, Art of War, arts, Book of Five Rings, Chinese, Dan Fogler, Eddie Brock, film, literature, Michael Biehn, Movie, non-review review, review, Sun Tzu, SunTzu, Take Me Home Tonight, Teresa Palmer, tobey maguire, topher grace, United State, United States, Washington D.C., World Literature | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Apartment

Posted on June 21, 2012 by Darren

The Apartment is a classic romantic comedy, and deservedly so. Reuniting director Billy Wilder with actor Jack Lemmon, it’s a wonderfully dysfunctional look at life in the big city, and the compromises the people find themselves forced into. While I think the movie probably works better as a romantic drama than as a comedy – with some outstanding moments of bleakness, including a serious suicide attempt and another false alarm towards the end – Wilder and Lemmon do an exceptional job keeping the movie just light enough that the darker elements don’t overwhelm the film. It is a piece of cinematic history, and one that holds up as well today as it ever did.

The neighbours were wondering about the racket…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Academy Award, Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor, Apartment, Billy Wilder, film, Glengarry Glen Ross, Greyhound Lines, Jack Lemmon, Karachi, kevin spacey, Lemmon, Metro Areas, Mississippi, Movie, Natchez Mississippi, new york, New York City, non-review review, Pakistan, review, Shirley MacLaine, Social Security number, the apartment, the apartment (1960), Times Square, United States | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Abraham Lincoln – Vampire Hunter

Posted on June 19, 2012 by Darren

The biggest problem with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is that it’s so mundane. You have this concept that is so incredibly ridiculous that you can play any number of ways – wacky “history-xploitation”; Hollywood “meta”-spoof; absurd parody. And yet director Timur Bekmambetov instead produces on of the most bland action movies imaginable. Despite the “wait? did the poster really say…?” premise, this film could be any action vampire movie ever. All Bekmambetov did was to swap speeding cars for horses and carriages, and cast a slightly taller lead with a badass taste in hats and facial hair. I’d argue that the problem with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is that it takes itself too seriously, but there’d be some fun in playing something like this absurdly straight. Instead, it’s just a generic action and adventure film with a slightly quirky title.