non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Avatar

Posted on December 20, 2009 by Darren

Yes, it is as visually stunning as you have heard. No, the special effects and 3D don’t combine to give you massive headaches. No, you’re never really dizzy or disorientated. Yes, it is the most technically impressive movie since… well, Titanic. But, with all that said, there’s really very little here. Cameron might be a master chef, and is an expert at serving up meals that look incredible, but here it seems that he spent more time on the decoration than on the ingredients. The movies is easily the most incredible technical accomplishment of the decade, but does that really matter when the plot is not only recycled (in fairness, that suits the green tone of the movie), but recycled poorly? Is watching two-and-a-half-hours of visually stunning work enough if it can’t generate any sort of emotional investment?

I wish I could say it blue (geddit?) me away...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: 3d, aliens, avatar, avatar (film), Cameron, Fictional universe of Avatar, film, Jake, james cameron, Movie, na'vi, non-review review, pandora, review, sigourney weaver, titanic | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Role Models

Posted on December 14, 2009 by Darren

There’s nothing really wrong with this movie – per se. At least nothing that isn’t wrong in just about every comedy that’s been released in the past few years. Taken in context, Role Models is a slightly above average slice of amusement. It’s not particularly memorable, but it should bring more than a few smiles to you’re face, provided you’re not expecting anything groundbreaking. It’s a by-the-numbers comedy, the kind of movie which an average movie-goer could tell exactly what’s happening (and what’s going to happen), even with the sound turned off.

Suit up!

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Bobb'e J. Thompson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, comedy, jane lynch, Movie, non-review review, paul rudd, review, role models, sean william scott | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Bone Collector

Posted on December 10, 2009 by Darren

se7en had quite an impact on Hollywood. And, where there’s success, there’s countless imitators. Some are good, some are… less so. Here we have another entry in the late-nineties serial-killer-harrasses-detective subgenre and – in its defense – it’s a perfectly mediocre concept elevated by two very talented leads. The movie is ultimately undermined by its refusal to play fair (no way even the cast of CSI could figure out who the killer was before the reveal – it might actually make logical sense for him to be an unknown, but that wouldn’t give us an emotionally-invested climax), but you could do far worse than this serial killer thriller. You could also do better, but who am I to judge?

Anything Brad can do...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: angelina jolie, bone collector, denzel washington, non-review review, review, se7en, serial killer, the bone collector, thriller | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Drag Me To Hell

Posted on December 9, 2009 by Darren

I’m a little torn about this film. On one hand, it’s nice to know that Sam Raimi has more than simply half-a-dozen Spider-Man movies left in him, on the other hand, this feels like it’s what The Evil Dead would look like in the era of CGI. And that’s not necessarily a compliment. At the very least, Raimi immediately reestablishes his creditionals as a unique film maker – I don’t think anyone has a vision quite like him. While he has the same difficulties finding the perfect balance of black comedy and horror that he had while making the Evil Dead trilogy. It doesn’t always work, but it benefits from being new and relatively exciting.

A grave matter...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alison lohman, black comedy, dark me to hell, film, horror, Movie, non-review review, review, sam raimi | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Watchmen (The Ultimate Cut)

Posted on December 6, 2009 by Darren

It arrived two weeks ago, but I only found the time to sit down and watch it over two nights last week. So, what do I make of Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut?

Cue immature jokes about how they earned the name...

Note: My review of the theatrical edition can be read here. Continue reading →

Filed under: Movies | Tagged: arts, Characters of Watchmen, directors cut, dr. manhatten, fiction, gerard butler, jackie earle haley, non-review review, Online Writing, review, rorschach, Shopping, tales of the black freighter, watchmen, watchmen dvd, watchmen: director's cut, watchmen: the complete story, watchmen: ultimate edition, zach snyder | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Posted on November 30, 2009 by Darren

Who would have thought that the writers’ strike last year would have been a blessing in disguise? Not only did the condensing down of seasons of House and Lost give the series a tighter narrative flow, but we also got the highest-profile “web original” series ever written. It may have been somewhat disingenous of Time to name this little musical masterpiece “one of the best inventions of 2008” – as there have been web-based series before – but what is astounding is how well this little drama stands on its own. Produced with a shoestring budget using favours called in from all over the industry as a means of artistic expression circumventing the studio system (which was being boycotted by the strike), Joss Whedon continues to demonstrate his cult credentials with another sure-fire geek hit.

The doctor will see you now...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: doctor horrible's sing-along blog, dr. horrible, dr. horrible's sing-along blog, felicia day, joss whedon, musical, nathan fillon, neil patrick harris, non-review review, review, superhero, supervillain, web original | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Redbelt

Posted on November 30, 2009 by Darren

You have to admit that the premise, at least, is intriguing. Maybe the execution is less so, but the basic premise (a martial arts movie directed by maestro wordsmith David Mamet) deserves at least a little consideration. In fairness, the movie plays its cards pretty well. It’s populated with kind of deceit and self-deceit which we have come to expect from the characters which Mamet presents to us on a regular basis. It’s a grim and dark and seedy world, even underneath those bright lights. The problem is that the movie’s core appeal (articulated in its title, premise and marketing) of a martial arts movie simply cannot deliver in that environment. These two facets of the movie lock themselves in mortal combat like two prize fighters in the ring: Mamet’s cynicism and human drama facing off against the requisite showiness and razzle-dazzle of martial arts. At one point a character suggests that the money is in a draw (since a rematch is a huge moneyspinner), and maybe that’s why we get no winner here. We don’t even get an entertaining struggle.

The blows come as quick as the dialogue and are almost as sharp...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: david mamet, film, martial arts film, Movie, non-review review, play, red belt, redbelt, review, tim allen | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Step-Brothers

Posted on November 29, 2009 by Darren

Is just me, or are the Judd Atapow machine comedies getting crasser and crasser? Sure, The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up weren’t exactly incredibly clean pieces of comedy, but they certanly demonstrated far more maturity than most of the recent output from that particular comedy factory – for better or worse. It’s just hard to find bodily function jokes and profanity funny for their own sake, and – if that is the measure of humour these days – that sort of humour is a dime-a-dozen these days. That’s not to say that Step-Brothers is entirely without charm (it has more than a few engaging moments), but just that it seems to think that appealing to the lowest common denominator is a legitimate form of comedy when it can’t think of anything better to do.

Brothers in arms...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: adam mckay, comedy, film, funny, john c. reilly, man-child, manchild, Movie, non-review review, review, step-brothers, stepbrothers, will ferrell | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Batman

Posted on November 28, 2009 by Darren

I have to admit, I have a soft spot for Tim Burton and Michael Keaton’s Batman. I mean, I hate what the series became with Batman Forever and Batman & Robin, but I think that Burton managed to craft a unique and yet suitable visual and design aesthetic for the character and his world, while Keaton managed to embody a tragic Batman who really seems quite distinct from most iterations either before or since. While I wouldn’t argue this take on Batman should be “definitive”, or that it fits as comfortably as Nolan’s Batman Begins or even Batman: The Animated Series, I do think it’s a valid and intriguing exploration of one of pop culture’s most enduring and evolving characters.

Full moon…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: batman, batman 1989, batman 89, Christopher Nolan, danny elfman, green goblin, jack nicholson, joker, michael keaton, Movie, non-review review, review, tim burton | 3 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Shining

Posted on November 27, 2009 by Darren

My mum can’t watch horror films. She just can’t. Even if they aren’t that scary. Even if they are horror-comedies or versions of stories she’s heard before. She can’t even be in the same room when they’re on – even if nothing actually horrific is happening. It turns out that – in her youth, while an au pair in Belgium – one of her friends convinced her to see a movie playing in the local cinema. A film about a family in a hotel over the winter, starring Jack Nicholson. That movie scared her to death, and has arguably scared her ever since.

That movie is – if you haven’t gathered from the title of this post and the plot description – The Shining.