non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Mission Impossible

Posted on January 22, 2011 by Darren

This post is part of James Bond January, being organised by the wonderful Paragraph Films. I will have reviews of all twenty-two official Bond films going on-line over the next month, and a treat or two every once in a while.

I can understand you’re very upset.

Kitrich, you’ve never seen me very upset.

Tom Cruise really wants to be James Bond. I mean, I think that’s the driving force behind the Mission: Impossible films, an attempt to construct an American James Bond franchise around the character of Ethan Hunt – they certainly aren’t the biggest of the blockbuster movies, and yet Cruise has used his influence to produce a trilogy of films (with a fourth one in the works). Between that and Knight & Day, I think the role of a globe-trotting secret agent action hero just appeals to the actor. I think he pretty much wants to be an American James Bond and – truth be told – I think he’s a great candidate for it.

Just hangin' out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Brian dePalma, ethan hunt, films, imf, impossible mission force, mission: impossible, Movies, non-review review, review, tom cruise, your mission | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Licence to Kill

Posted on January 21, 2011 by Darren

Licence to Kill is the Bond movie that almost killed the franchise. The gap between the release of this movie in 1989 and GoldenEye in 1995 is the longest period that the film series has been left dormant. Although the legal issues surrounding the series hardly helped ensure the British secret agent’s return to the big screen, there’s also the fact that this movie was something of a box office dud in the States. (Although it was quite successful elsewhere.) Licence to Kill is perhaps the most divisive of the Bond movies – even more so than On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Detractors see it as a poor attempt to emulate Miami Vice, indulging in ridiculously over-the-top violence and darkness for the sake of darkness. Fans argue that the movie is a lot closer to Ian Fleming’s original novels, and feels more like the recent relaunch of the franchise – it’s a perfect bedfellow with Casino Royale or Quantum of Solace. My opinion is somewhere in the middle.

Bond always uses protection in bed…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: casino royale, film, GoldenEye, ian fleming, james bond, james bond january, Licence to Kill, Movie, non-review review, pierce brosnan, review, robert davi, Roger Moore, timothy dalton, United States | 9 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Living Daylights

Posted on January 20, 2011 by Darren

The Living Daylights is a forgotten Bond film, sitting as it does between the twin “duds” of A View to a Kill and Licence to Kill (although I am not quite as critical of those films as most). It’s the first of the Bond films to feature Timothy Dalton, taking over from Roger Moore – who by this stage seemed as likely to be getting a free bus pass as he was to foil enemy spies. Although the word didn’t quite exist in media circles when the movie originally came out, there’s a strong smell of “reboot” about the film, as if the powers behind the scenes are attempting to consciously remodel the franchise in the wake of a disappointing previous film. Though not quite as obvious (or as far-reaching) as subsequent reboots in GoldenEye and Casino Royale, The Living Daylights isn’t a bad Bond film – it’s just a really poorly dated one.

Tim, you scared the Living Daylights out of me…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: A View to a Kill, afghanistan, bond, Caroline Bliss, defectors, films, GoldenEye, james bond, james bond january, kara, Living Daylights, Movies, non-review review, pierce brosnan, review, Roger Moore, Soviet Union, taliban, the living daylights, timothy dalton, ussr | 15 Comments »

Non-Review Review: A View to a Kill

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Darren

A View to A Kill is not fondly remembered. In fact, it frequently finds itself listed amongst the dregs of the Bond films when the time comes to rank the worst of the British secret agent’s on-screen adventures. Truth be told, I find that rather harsh – I’d argue that it’s a significantly stronger effort than The Man With The Golden Gun, at least – as well as possibly Octopussy and Moonraker. After all, both Roger Moore and Christopher Walken look like they are having such a ridiculously good time.

Not quite a towering accomplishment…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: A View to a Kill, a view to a kill (movie), arts, Bond girl, christopher walken, films, grace jones, james bond, james bond january, List of James Bond villains, Man With The Golden Gun, Max Zorin, mayday, non-review review, review, Roger Moore, San Francisco City Hall, sean connery, United States | 7 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Octopussy

Posted on January 18, 2011 by Darren

Despite having quite possibly the most awkwardly unfortunate name in the history of the English language, the most enduring image from Octopussy is Roger Moore, flailing wildly and trying to be taken seriously, while dressed as a clown. Oddly appropriate, eh?

Moore, Moore, Mo- Too Much!

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: american, Bond girl, film, general orlov, George Lazenby, Hedge fund, india, james bond, james bond january, khan, Maud Adams, Movie, non-review review, Octopussy, pierce brosnan, review, Roger Moore, sam mendes, sean connery, stephen berkoff, steven berkoff, United States | 11 Comments »

Non-Review Review: For Your Eyes Only

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Darren

The Bond film also known as “the one that even people who dislike Roger Moore Bond films enjoy.”

Bond plays “Eye, Spy”…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Bibi Dahl, film, for your eyes only, George Lazenby, ian fleming, james bond, james bond january, John Glen, julian glover, MacGuffin, Movie, non-review review, On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film), review, Roger Moore, sean connery, telly savalas | 3 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Tangled

Posted on January 16, 2011 by Darren

Disney’s 50th animated feature film is something of a return to traditional values. Despite the surrounding discussion about whether this would be Disney’s last “princess” fairytale film or whether boys would respond to the story of Rapunzel, the movie is assuredly old school in its style. Although the way that it has been handled by the studio betrays a stunning insecurity about it, it’s self-assured a good old fashioned fairytale at heart. Though it moves away from hand-drawn animation to computer-generated imagery (though it’s reportedly heavily influenced by the old-school approach to animation), it couldn’t be more of a traditional Disney film if it tried. After so many attempts to update, subvert, revise, deconstruct or play with that classic formula, sometimes it’s nice to be served a traditional film, straight-up.

Go on, let your hair down!

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: animation, cgi, Computer-generated imagery, deconstruction, disney, disney's tangled, fairytale, Little Red Riding Hood, non-review review, princess, rapunzel, review, shrek, tangled, the princess and the frog, The Walt Disney Company | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Moonraker

Posted on January 15, 2011 by Darren

James Bond has always been susceptible to trends. Be it a nod to the kung-fu craze of the late seventies in The Man With The Golden Gun or the more modern focus on the Bourne film series in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, the film series has always been aware of popular tastes. While certain unions might seem a little eccentric (the fusion of the series with Miami Vice to produce Licence to Kill), there’s probably not a more bizarre blend than the attempt to emulate the success of the original Star Wars films within the framework of a film franchise based around a suave British spy.

Roger Moore’s hanging on in there…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: dolly, films, holly goodhead, Hugo Drax, james bond, james bond january, jaws, moonraker, Movies, non-review review, review, reviews, Roger Moore | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Spy Who Loved Me

Posted on January 14, 2011 by Darren

The Spy Who Loved Me was just what Bond needed after The Man With The Golden Gun. Let’s be honest here, the movie has perhaps the strongest and most iconic opening sequence of any Bond movie – even those who haven’t seen the film know the beats off by heart. Bond is skiing, escaping a Russian ambush in the snow. He’s giving as good as he gets, but he’s cornered – out numbered and outgunned. In a moment of desperation, Bond flees his attackers, skiing off the side of a cliff.

It’s a cliffhanger…

For a moment, there is nothing but silence. As the stunt man tumbles through the air, the music stops cold. It’s not just the audience holding their breath as they watch Bond enter free fall. Is this it for our illustrious secret agent? You know it can’t be more than a couple of seconds, but it seems to last an eternity. And then…

And then…

The Bond music kicks into gear as the parachute opens – a Union flag. And then the opening beats of Nobody Does It Better sound in the background as Bond makes good his escape. Let’s face it, the movie could end there and it would be the best thing to happen to Bond since Sean Connery left.