non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Angels & Demons

Posted on September 14, 2009 by Darren

Well, the only way to go from The DaVince Code was up, right? Good, because this doesn’t go too far up, lest you get all excited. It’s a fairly run-of-the-mill chase movie without any charm or wit or intelligence (and severely lacking in logic, one might add). It commits the cardinal sin (he he, cardinal… geddit?) of thinking that it is far smarter than it actually is, and it never manages to be particularly exciting or engaging. Still, Ron Howard can’t completely hide his talent amid a jumble of half-baked action sequences and illogical clues.

Try as you may, you can't outrun the inevitable threequel, Hanks!

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: angels & demons, angels and demons, dan brown, film, Movie, non-review review, pope, review, robert langdon, rome, ron howard, the church, the davinci code, the vatican, tom hanks | Leave a comment »

Non-Review review: Panic Room

Posted on September 11, 2009 by Darren

We happened to catch Panic Room on TV3 last night. It’s interesting to watch in retrospect, considering that David Fincher was between the two high watermarks of his career to date (se7en and Zodiac – we can discuss The Curious Case of Benjamin Button later). It’s interesting to see Fincher play with the thriller genre in a much less radical way than he did with either of the films that sandwich it. What we’re left with might not necessarily be groundbreaking, but it is solidly entertaining.

Hell of a time for Jodie Foster to adapt to texting...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: david fincher, dwight yoakam, film, forest whitaker, jared leto, jodie foster, kristen stewart, Movie, non-review review, panic room, review, thriller | 1 Comment »

Non-Review Review: District 9

Posted on September 5, 2009 by Darren

It was good, but not great. That’s about it. I was somewhat underwhelmed by what is being hailed as the most fresh and original science fiction film since… well, Moon way back in June. Maybe I’m being harsh though. A lot of it was very good, some of it was great, but some of it made my very uncomfortable. And not in the way that social commentary is meant to make you feel uncomfortable.

Illegal aliens...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: aliens, apartheid, district 9, films, Movies, neill blomkamp, nigerians, non-review review, peter jackson, prawns, racism, review, science fiction, shane copley, sharlto copley, south africa, xenophobia | 1 Comment »

Non-Review Review: X-Files – I Want to Believe

Posted on September 3, 2009 by Darren

The title just about says it all. I want to believe in The X-Files. I want to believe in Mulder and Scully. I want to believe in Chris Carter. But I’m looking for proof. Proof that the franchise that held the entire world’s attention for a few minutes in the mid- to late-nineties still has some life in it. Proof that a ridiculous complicated and illogical and poorly written final few seasons on the air had not sucked the marrow entirely from the bones of a once unique pop cultural entity. So, what does the movie give me? Not concrete proof, but a little hint of faith. The film is not as bad as the final two years of the show. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it isn’t as good as the first five.

"X" doesn't mark the spot...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: billy connelly, chris carter, david duchovny, films, franchise, gillian anderson, i want to believe, ludacris, Movies, mulder, non-review review, review, scully, series, Television, the x-files, the x-files: i want to believe, x-files | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: X-Men II

Posted on September 1, 2009 by Darren

I wrote in my review of the original X-Men that the first film in the saga still holds up quite well, even after a decade of superhero movies built off the back of it. It is by no means as spectacular as some of those that followed, nor is it as bad as some of those that followed. X-Men II is something similar. It wasn’t quite as revolutionary, but it did jumpstart another style of summer blockbuster, arguably a subgenre of the type sparked by the original film: the bigger and better superhero sequel.

No need to get your claws out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: brian cox, comic books, films, god loves man kills, ian mckellen, kurt wagner, magneto, marvel, Movies, nightcrawler, non-review review, review, william stryker, wolverine, x-men, x-men 2, x-men united, x2: x-men united | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Inglourious Basterds

Posted on August 28, 2009 by Darren

I went to see Inglourious Basterds with my brother last night at the cinema in Swords. I’m not sure what either of us was expecting – I’d read enough reviews and opinion articles and am well-versed in the knowledge that trailers always lie to know that it wouldn’t be a straight-up Nazi-killing flick. In fairness to the misdirecting marketing campaign though, I’m not sure how you could advertise what Tarantino has produced here. What we’ve got is a film possibly unlike any other you’ve ever really seen. I’m still not entirely sure what to make of it, which is certainly a big indicator in the film’s favour.

Tarantino, you magnificent basterd, you...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: brad pitt, christoph waltz, films, inglorious bastards, inglourious, inglourious basterds, Movies, nazis, non-review review, once upon a time in nazi-occupied france, quentin tarantino, review, tarantino, weinstein | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: X-Men

Posted on August 20, 2009 by Darren

It’s the movie that started it all. We wouldn’t have this tight-spandex-wearing superhero craze in Hollywood today were it not for Bryan Singer’s ambitious adaptation of the Marvel wonder team (okay, Sam Raimi’s Spider Man played a part too). I don’t know what’s more surprising: that it worked at the time or that it still holds together quite well today.

: No claws for alarm…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bryan singer, films, hugh jackman, ian mckellen, magneto, Movies, non-review review, patrick stewart, review, wolverine, x-men | 3 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Romeo + Juliet

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Darren

I’m baaaaack!

Is it a spoiler to say that Romeo + Juliet is a tragedy? You never know these days (I’m reminded of that great Simpsons’ quote, “It started out like Romeo & Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy” – I remember a few people being surprised when I laughed at that, leading me to explain the joke). Still, the opening monologue lays it all out on the table, as does the fact that Shakespeare only ever wrote comedies or tragedies – and this ain’t a comedy. Anyway, I must confess I hate the play, as I hate hell, all Montagues and thee. Okay, not really, but it was drilled into my head for my Junior Certificate exam (as Macbeth would be drilled into my head for the Leaving Certificate). I remember my English teacher – a very nice old lady, by all accounts – steadfastly refusing to show us the Baz Luhrmann ‘reimagining’ of the play. To this day I’m not sure if she made the right call.

Get used to those wings...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: baz luhrman, baz luhrmann, claire danes, films, john leguizamo, Leonardo diCaprio, Movies, non-review review, review, romeo + juliet, shakespeare, tybalt | 1 Comment »

Non-Review Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Posted on August 4, 2009 by Darren

Why?

That’s my only question after seeing the film: why was it necessary? It’s not entirely a bad film – indeed, without the baggage coming with the franchise it might have been a perfectly average film. Unfortunately it is a terrible Indiana Jones film that is packed to the brim with elements that just don’t work and only one that does. Harrison Ford is one hell of a fantastic performer, but even he can’t save this film.

Jonesing for some Jones?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: aliens, cate blanchet, crystal skulls, harrison ford, indiana jones, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, john hurt, non-review review, ray winstone, review, sequel, shia labeouf, steven spielberg, the kingdom of the crystal skull | 7 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Posted on August 4, 2009 by Darren

I would love to have been there when the sequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark was released. The anticipation and the build up to a sequel to one of most brilliantly bright and fun adventure films ever made. I don’t know what I would have been expecting… but I don’t think it would have been this. As a piece of trivia, the film is actually a prequel, but that doesn’t matter. It has a bit of an odd child of the franchise (even after Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), in that it’s the only film that doesn’t follow Indy’s quest for a mysterious relic. But that isn’t the only (or even the biggest difference). There’s a massive shift in tone between this and the film proceeding it and the film following. Everything’s just a hint darker and… well, weirder. Still, I’ve a soft spot in my heart for the black sheep of the franchise and I fully and whole-heartedly embrace that weirdness.