Remember when Al Pacino was great? Yeah, it was a while ago.
Wow, they're really trying to keep Pacino out of that taxi, aren't they? Not that I'd blame him for trying to get away from this film...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: 88 minutes, al pacino, films, Movies, non-review review, review, righteous kill | 2 Comments »
I have an offer to make. If you push the button, two things will happen. First, someone, somewhere in the world, whom you don’t know, will die. Second, you will receive a payment of one million dollars. You have 24 hours.
– “Arlington Stewart”
Such is the premise of The Box, a movie based on a short story by science fiction icon Richard Matheson, but one of the movie’s many problems is that director Richard Kelly apparently doesn’t find that premise interesting enough to sustain his film. That seems inherently pithy, considering that Matheson’s story Button, Button has been adapted for The Twilight Zone and as a radio play for CBS Mystery Theatre – there must have been something there. Instead, Kelly uses the eponymous box as a jumping off point into what can only really be described as “abstractsville”, taking a left at “crazy town”. There are moments in this film which work, but they are few and far between – there are large stretches of time when it is just infuriating.
James Marsden counts up the box office receipts... they aren't good...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: box, button button, cameron diaz, films, frank langella, james marsden, Movies, non-review review, review, richard kelly, the box, the button, twilight zone | 12 Comments »
Wow. What a debut. Okay, I know this wasn’t quite a debut for James Cameron, but Pirhana II hardly counts, right? Terminator is perhaps the best example of a talented young director producing a large-scale action movie on a miniscule budget. I’ll provoke the disdain of many a film buff out there when I declare I have a very slight preference for the sequel Terminator II: Judgement Day, but the first two movies are some of the best examples of action movies from the eighties/nineties. Hell, they are both some of the best examples of any action movies.
Don't ask him to show you his guns...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Arnold Schwarzenegger, james cameron, kyle reese, Movies, non-review review, review, terminator, the terminator | 7 Comments »
Surely you can’t be serious?
I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
The lads over at Anomalous Material are running a ‘greatest comedy of all time’ tournament at the moment, which is well worth a gander if you’re into that sort of thing. I’m embarrassed to admit that I haven’t yet seen all 128 movies. What I have seen, however, is Airplane!, and I can assure you that it deserves serious consideration for the crown.
A take off of all your favourite films...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: airplane!, comedy, film, Movies, non-review review, parody, pop culture, puns, review, zucker | 6 Comments »
Early in the movie, our anonymous bounty hunter, Blondie or The Man With No Name or whatever you want to call him, wanders into a tavern looking for his target. Identifying the bandit gambling at a table, inches from an impotent sheriff, the hunter wanders over to his mark. He silently grabs the cards and starts counting them out. The hardened criminal stares up silently, and he plays along. The game is poker. The two men settle their hands and trade their cards. The villain lays out his cards on the table. It looks good, and then the stranger reveals his cards. Of course, his hand is better. The gambler at the table looks up to this drifter who has so silently intruded on his game. Apparently behind the audience, he asks what the stakes were. As it always is in stories like this, “Your life.”
You know how it ends.
Sometimes you have to take the Good with the Bad...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Clint Eastwood, deconstruction, dollars, eastwood, films, for a few dollars more, Movies, non-review review, review, sergio leone, western | 2 Comments »
It’s a lie. For the first few years, Battlestar Galactica sold itself as a grand mythology. Every episode, in a narration repeated at the start of this film, we were reintroduced to the Cylons and reassured that “They have plan”. Except they didn’t. The show was written year-to-year, with no overarching scheme behind it all. This isn’t a criticism, but an observation. For most of its four year run, the show was the best thing on television. The series finale was a major disappointment but – for the most part – the design worked. So labelling this spin-off as Battlestar Galactica: The Plan is at best a little bit cheeky. At worst it’s a downright lie.
Relax, it's not the end of the world...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: battlestar galactica, battlestar galactica: the plan, cavils, cylons, dean stockwell, film, humans, Movie, non-review review, ones, review, science fiction, the plan, tv, twos | 8 Comments »
Another film, another only very vaguely controversial decision from Darren. I actually prefer Kill Bill, Vol. 2 to the Kill Bill, Vol. 1. There, I said it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Japanese samurai swords, massive brawls, over-the-top violence and kitchen knife fights as much as the next man, but there’s just something about the second half of this “roaring rampage of revenge” which appeals to me.
Careful with your knives at the table...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bill, exploitation, film, kill bill, kill bill 2, kill bill: vol. 2, Movies, non-review review, quentin tarantino, review, roaring rampage of revenge, sergio leone, the bride | 8 Comments »
Fire is a recurring image in the work of Cormac McCarthy. Particularly the notion of a generational line “carrying the fire” and being the good guys. There’s a moment at the end of No Country For Old Men, another adaptation of McCarthy’s work, where the tired sheriff played by Tommy Lee Jones shares a weird dream he’s been having with his wife, where he finds himself walking down a long road, and he passes his father – who is carrying a torch. It’s a powerful image, which really cuts to the heart of the piece. For those wondering what that road and that torch may actually look like… well, there’s this.
The Road less traveled...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: cormac mccarthy, faith, films, john hillcoat, Movies, non-review review, post-apocalyptic, review, the road, viggo mortensen | 14 Comments »
Well. I enjoyed that probably far more than I should have. If you ever wondered what Bad Boys would look like set in turn-of-the-last-century London and featuring a better director, then look no further. Although it would seem to be your typical old-fashioned action yarn in the mode of The Mummy or Shanghai Noon, the movie really works best as a time-displaced buddy cop film – or even just as a regular bromance. The movie is light, quick and entertaining. What more could you expect?
There's going to be bloody 'ell to pay...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bad boys, bromance, guy ritchie, jude law, mark strong, Movies, non-review review, rachel mcadams, review, ribert downey jr, robert downey, robert downey jnr., sherlock holmes, watson | 6 Comments »
The second of the blockbusters arrives, celebrating the true arrival of summer. Chosen to open Cannes and featuring a return of the powerhouse pairing of maestro Ridley Scott and love-‘im-or-hate-‘im matinee icon Russell Crowe in a historic setting brimming with action potential and historic appeal, it’s safe to say that there’s a lot of pressure on the iconic outlaw, Robin Hood. So does he carry it off as confidently as he carries off that bow-and-arrow?
Boy in da Hood...
Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: blockbuster, cate blanchet, cate blanchett, film, gladiator, historical, Movies, non-review review, review, ridley scott, robin hood, russell crowe | 15 Comments »
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