Non-Review Reviews | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Summer in February

Posted on June 4, 2013 by Darren

Summer in February is a lazy and contrived piece of pretentious twaddle. Exploring the true story of a colony of artists living off the coast of England in the early years of the twentieth century, it never offers anything more than a fleeting sketch of its characters and the world they inhabit. Benjamin Wallfisch’s powerhouse period score does a lot of heavy lifting, but it can’t do anything to keep the movie afloat. At one point, early in the film, artist AJ Munnings settles a hefty bar tab with an improvised drawing on the back of a bill. This film feels like it would be hard-pressed to pay for a glass of tap water.

Ride away from the cinema! Away!

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bbc, brazil, Danny Welbeck, dominic cooper, england, february, film, Gary Lineker, Hattie Morahan, Laura Knight, Luiz Felipe Scolari, Movie, Nicholas Farrell, non-review review, review, Roy Hodgson, Summer in February, United States | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: This is the End

Posted on June 1, 2013 by Darren

There’s a moment about half-way through This is the End when our bunch of celebrities are starting go stir-crazy, as they brave the apocalypse inside James Franco’s surprisingly fortified house. In the strange combination of idle boredom and growing madness, the group decide to improvise a trailer for the non-existent sequel to Pineapple Express. It is complete nonsense, but there’s a strange energy and a warm sense of humour to their “sweded” version of a Hollywood comedy, complete with remote-control car chases and homemade props.

It feels like something that only these actors would get – it’s just a bunch of people hanging out, fooling around, making the most of the materials available to them do something which feels incredibly niche. It’s a weird balance of something so experimental and so niche that it’s almost definitely a piece of post-modern art. (The movie even features an early scene of pretentious James Franco gleefully arguing that everything is art – even Jay Baruchel.) On the other hand, it’s accessible and fun, managing to seem – simultaneously – like an incredibly niche and charmingly broad piece of film.

It’s also pretty damn funny.

… and I feel fine…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, celebrities, Channing Tatum, craig robinson, danny mcbride, Emma Watson, Evan Goldberg, GQ, hollywood, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, jonah hill, People, Pineapple Express, Seth Rogen, This Is the End | 5 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Blood (2013)

Posted on May 27, 2013 by Darren

Blood feels a little too familiar on times, verging on cliché. Director Nick Murphy crafts a rich and atmospheric take on a story we’ve seen quite often before. A story of brothers keeping a dark secret, of the way that the islands off the coast of Britain seem to operate under their own law, of the way that guilt and secrets eat us from the inside out. It looks and sounds impressive, with the cast delivering powerhouse performances, George Richmond’s cinematography evoking a harsh wasteland where rules seem looser and myth intermingles with fact, and Daniel Pemberton’s score setting a suitably ominous note.

I wanna take you to the island…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: BFI London Film Festival, brian cox, Da Vinci Code, Daniel Pemberton, George Richmond, IM Global, Image Entertainment, jennifer connelly, mark strong, New England, Nick Murphy, paul bettany, Robert Seymour, Stephen Graham, United States | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Hangover, Part III

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Darren

There was a time when The Hangover seemed like a breath of fresh air. It wasn’t so much an original story or set-up. Rather, it was a devil-may-care attitude and unrepentant immaturity. It was bold and it was willing to do absolutely anything it needed to in order to get a laugh. It worked because of that sheer commitment and energy, energy that is mostly absent from this final instalment. “Leslie Chow is madness,” a character boasts at the climax of the film, talking about one of the franchise’s popular recurring characters – but he may as well be talking about the film itself. “You don’t talk to madness,” he insists. “You lock it in your trunk…”

It’s a nice call back to the very first film and the first time we met Ken Jeong’s “Mr. Chow”, but it also speaks to the weaknesses of The Hangover, Part III. Somewhere along the way, the madness was lost. The high-octane “anything can happen” spirit of the original film leaked out of the two sequels. I’m fonder of The Hangover, Part II than most, but it is a cheap imitation, a repeat of a joke that was hilarious the first time and passable a second.

It’s to the credit of Todd Phillips that he doesn’t try to emulate the same formula a third time. I appreciate that a few efforts are made to push the trilogy into a shape resembling a circle, but it feels so much more contained and so much more rote than it did all those years ago.

I wouldn’t get too excited, Alan…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alan, bradley cooper, Chow, Ed Helms, film, Hangover, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong, Ken Leung, Movie, non-review review, review, Silver Linings Playbook, Todd Phillips, Zach Galifianakis | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Byzantium

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Darren

Byzantium is visually stunning and thematically fascinating, a thoughtful and well-constructed vampire tale from the director of Interview with a Vampire. Neil Jordan’s latest bloodsucking epic might lack a narrative cohesion and take a while to get going, but it’s still an interesting exploration of the genre. Jordan has a wonderful skill for composition, and his flair ensures that the story of two ageless female vampires always looks breathtaking, even if the story does take a while to get going.

Talk about running red…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Bella Swan, Byzantium, Caleb Landry Jones, Clara, Eleanor, film, Gemma Arterton, Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, Jonny Lee Miller, Jordan, Katniss Everdeen, Moira Buffini, Movie, neil jordan, non-review review, review, saoirse ronan, twilight, vampire | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Great Gatsby (2013)

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Darren

The Great Gatsby feels like candy floss for the soul. A little of it is tempting, even appetizing. It was a curious texture, a strange sense of lightness, but also curiously heavy. Appealing to look at, and fun to pick at, it’s not something to be digested in large portions. The opening fifteen minutes of The Great Gatsby pop and sizzle, as Luhrman blends stylish visuals with an inability to keep anything still. The cameras, the actors and even the scenery seem to be moving to a beat – one occasionally intruding on the sound track. Such energy and vibrance is hard to resist, but it’s also exhausting – as much for the film as the audience. Once the movie settles into its own style and routine, it winds up feeling a lot like its protagonist. You’re not quite sure it’s really there.

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: baz luhrmann, Carey Mulligan, Elizabeth Debicki, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Great Gatsby, Joel Edgerton, Leonardo diCaprio, Luhrman, New York City, Roaring Twenties, Shopping, tobey maguire | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Fast & The Furious 6

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Darren

The ideal The Fast & The Furious film could only properly be summated with hand gestures and poorly improvised sound effects. “Rrrrrrr….” and then (wavy hand movement) and then “smack!” and then (index finger jams into opposite palm), followed a “bb’tccccch…” and (outward gesture of hand indicating explosion). Fast Five came close to being that perfect macho car chase film, one less concerned with plot and performance than a riveting high-octane spectacle treating its human cast as much like props as the vehicles they drive.

The Fast & The Furious 6 backs away a great deal from the charm of the previous film. There’s the same dumb action set pieces delivered in a charmingly intense manner by Justin Lin, but the script feels over-plotted. There are lots of big emotional moments between an ensemble that really wasn’t built to give those sorts of performances. There are lots of shocking revelations from events several films earlier. There are lots of personal conversations where Lin has no idea what to do with the camera but circle around his actors and hope that the audience doesn’t get too bored.

Not so fast…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, fast & furious, Fast & Furious 6, Fast Five, film, GoldenEye, Index finger, Interpol, Justin Lin, Lin, London, Luke Evans, Michelle Rodriguez, Movie, non-review review, Paul Walker, review, Vin Diesel | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Epic

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Darren

Epic looks stunning. While it doesn’t necessarily push the envelope in terms of 3D rendering or animation, it’s often quite beautiful to watch. Even in 3D, the vibrant greens radiate off the screen, with the characters having a pleasant elasticity to them. The action sequences are well-staged and the choreography is generally impressive. However, despite this, Epic winds up feeling rather shallow. Perhaps it’s a result of the decision to develop the world as a priority, rather than the characters inhabiting it.

The story is more a collection of familiar tropes and set-pieces than a compelling narrative, and none of the lead characters are ever developed beyond basic archetypes. There’s the plucky heroine, the roguish hero, the gruff mentor, the free-spirited wise oracle, the drôle accented bad guy, the comic relief and even the kooky dad. None feel of any real substance, which is a problem when you’re executing a plot as straight-forward as this.

It’s a slug’s life…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Amanda Seyfried, Android, animation, Archer & Armstrong, arts, Beyoncé Knowles, business, Chris O'Dowd, colin farrell, design, epic, film, Flight envelope, games, Josh Hutcherson, kung-fu panda, Las Vegas Nevada, Movie, non-review review, pixar, Queen Tara, review, The Girl Of My Best Friend, United States, video games | 10 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Star Trek – Into Darkness

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Darren

Note: This is a spoiler-heavy review. If you want a spoiler-lite recommendation, click here. If not, continue at your own risk.

Towards the climax of Star Trek: Into Darkness, Kirk and the Enterprise flee an aggressor by entering warp. At that speed, several factors the speed of light itself, they surmise that they must be safe from their pursuer. Of course, they prove to be wrong – brutally so. Everything in Into Darkness moves fast, so fast that the Enterprise’s top speed seems more like a casual jog than a breakneck acceleration. The plot rockets along with incredible speed, from plot point to plot point, counting on the momentum to sustain the film and carry it across the line.

There is enough material here to produce a trilogy of films. Indeed, cynics might suggest that a lot of the movie’s iconography and plot points are indeed recycled from the central “trilogy” of the original Star Trek films, running from the homages to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan right down a climactic visual reference to Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Abrams and his team of writer continue their work from 2009’s breakout blockbuster Star Trek by putting the franchise’s most compelling images and cues into a high-speed blender.

Into Darkness just substantially increases the concentration.