Non-Review Reviews | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: Maps to the Stars

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Darren

It is a cliché to suggest that Hollywood loves movies about Hollywood.

Sure, quite often these are celebratory meditations on how great Tinseltown is – Argo was the story of how Hollywood saved the lives of Americans caught up in the Iranian Revolution; Hitchcock celebrated the making of Psycho. Sometimes these are more cynical and jaded explorations of how Hollywood works, seeking to expose the community’s seedy underbelly to the world – Robert Altman’s The Player remains the definitive example, but films like What Just Happened probably count as well.

These stock Hollywood-story-about-Hollywood are the weakest aspects of Maps to the Stars. The movie often feels like it’s trying too hard to add a surface gloss of what people expect from a film about Hollywood, on top of a much more interesting and compelling tale of dysfunction and decay. Maps to the Stars is held together by a rake of terrific performances and a wonderfully creepy central metaphor, but it feels let down by the more superficial elements of the script.

We’re all in the gutter…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: celebrity, cronenberg, david cronenberg, film, hollywood, horror, john cusack, Julianne Moore, maps to the stars, Mia Wasikowska, Movies, non-review review, review | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Hundred-Foot Journey

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Darren

Guest review by Sinéad Finegan. You can find her at sineadfinegan.com.

Anyone who goes to see this foodie film to sample a little of the its finest dish – Helen Mirren – will not be disappointed. Humour, light-hearted fun, and a gently simmering Mirren are definitely on the menu; and who would complain?

One particularly memorable scene stands out: Mirren as Madame Mallory, the impeccably dressed proprietress of a Michelin-starred restaurant, stands before her assembled staff and silently holds up a single, rather flaccid-looking, asparagus which droops mournfully and looks an altogether unappetising specimen. Food should not be like a tired marriage, she informs us; no, the food in her restaurant must be a steamy affair. Which is rather a good assessment of the film itself: a fun, light-hearted and steamy foodie affair.

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: 100-foot journey, film, helen mirren, Movie, non-review review, review, the hundred-foot journey, the one-hundred-foot journey | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Pride

Posted on September 1, 2014 by Darren

Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners is an oft over-looked chapter in the history both the labour and the gay rights movement. Based around the fundamental principle that oppressed groups have a great chance of achieving their goals standing side-by-side (or shoulder-to-shoulder) than they would ever would apart, the alliance forged during the 1984 coal strikes went on to have a lasting and important influence on both the mining community and the gay community.

Pride is perhaps a little bit too whimsical and twee for its own good, going for any number of easy feel-good smiles and affectionate chuckles, but there’s something quite compelling about this tale of two different groups forging an unexpected and unprecedented alliance in pursuit of a common good. Pride is a light and charming “opposites unit” story with enough wit and soul to win over even the most cynical audience members.

Labour of love…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: 1984, film, gay rights, Movie, non-review review, pride, review, thatcher, Wales, welsh | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: If I Stay…

Posted on August 26, 2014 by Darren

If I Stay… has a pretty great leading performance from actress Chloë Grace Moretz and a fantastic supporting turn from veteran character actor Stacy Keach. Both actors do the best they can with the material on hand, although it is clearly an uphill struggle. There’s a sense that the two actors are wandering lost through the film. Moretz’s character is not so much trapped in a hospital as in a terrible screenplay.

If I Stay… squanders these performances with an incredibly cynical and calculated narrative that plays less like the reflective highlights of teenager’s life, and more like a collection of young adult clichés combined together and served up through a blatantly manipulative framing device.

Leaving the audience cold…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Chloë Grace Moretz, Emotion, film, if i stay, manipulation, Movie, non-review review, review, Stacy Keach | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Sin City – A Dame to Kill For

Posted on August 20, 2014 by Darren

It is very hard to get the same trick to work twice.

When it arrived in cinemas, Sin City was a visceral punch to the gut. It was powerful and shocking, and utterly unlike anything that had ever been seen before. It had its fair share of problems, mostly inherited from Frank Miller’s source material, but it managed the rare treat of being incredibly raw and stylishly slick at the same time. Even years later, the images and characters from Sin City linger in the popular consciousness.

It would be too much to expect the same from Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, but the movie lacks the youthful energy that made the original such a classic and the memorable images that imprinted themselves on the collective imagination. Sin City arrived with a reckless irreverence and a whole new bag of tricks. Ultimately, A Dame to Kill For feels like an old dog, and you know what they say about those.

Green-eyed monster?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: a dame to kill for, film, frank miller, joseph gordon, Mickey Rourke, Movie, noir, non-review review, review, rober rodriguez, sin city, sin city: a dame to kill for, the long bad night | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Into the Storm

Posted on August 19, 2014 by Darren

Into the Storm is at least up front about its intentions.

It is a surprisingly pragmatic natural disaster film, one that moves with almost ruthless efficiency. Quite like the eponymous storm front, it goes where it wants to go, with little consideration for minor details like character development or intricate plotting. Into the Storm is a movie that knows what it wants to be and what it wants to be. There’s a strange utility to the world of Into the Storm.

Gimme shelter…

In this world, used car lots exist purely to provide material for hurricanes to toss through the air; abandoned mills with all sorts of dangerous chemicals exist purely to put young members of the cast in peril; youtube-obsessed hicks exist solely as comic relief to be be shuffled out of the film before the stakes get well and truly raised. It’s a film that believes that twisters are fine on their own, but things can always be enhanced by the addition of a fire twister or by combining multiple twisters into a giant twister.

Into the Storm is a film so ruthlessly up front that it puts the Sci Fi (or SyFy) Channel to shame. There’s something almost endearing about that, even the result is far from satisfying.

Who films the filmmakers?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: film, Found footage, into the storm, Movie, non-review review, review, twister | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Expendables 3

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Darren

There is something almost laudable about The Expendables as a movie franchise. Like science-fiction conventions do for other genre performers, The Expendables provides retirement planning and income for a bunch of performers who might otherwise have passed their sell-by date. It’s vaguely reassuring to know that sometimes life (and ass-kicking) begins at fifty, and The Expendables is endearingly sincere and upfront about this function – giving action stars who might seem over the hill one last go around.

That goodwill is stretched to breaking point with The Expendables 3. Nobody expects a particularly insightful or well-constructed script for a film like this, but the screenplay is a mess. Structurally speaking, The Expendables 3 feels like it is being held together by rubber bands – rubber bands that are being stretched to breaking point with the film’s two-hour runtime. There is a tighter and exciting movie to be found in The Expendables 3, but the movie awkwardly lumbers past earnest and into indulgent.

Going to town on this one..

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: action stars, antonia danderas, film, Mel Gibson, Movie, non-review review, retirement planning, review, the expendables, the expendables 2, the expendables 3, Wesley Snipes | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Spider’s Trap

Posted on August 9, 2014 by Darren

Spider’s Trap is a rather heavy-handed film. There are points where this works to the movie’s advantage – the stark black-and-white cinematography lends itself to exaggeration and effect. There are also points where the movie feels a little overly-earnest and awkward as it fashions its own noir tale about second chances and long-planned revenge. Beautifully shot by director Alan Walsh, Spider’s Trap is often endearing and charming, if not quite consistently brilliant. There are a few notable missteps, but there is also a lot to like.

Things aren’t so black-and-white…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alan walsh, black and white, film, Film noir, Ireland, irish film, Movie, noir, non-review review, review, simon delaney, Spider, spider's trap | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Rover

Posted on August 6, 2014 by Darren

The Rover isn’t quite a post-apocalyptic road movie. A title card places the story “ten years after the collapse”, but it’s never clear what exactly “the collapse” is. Buildings still stand. Trains still run. Telegraph polls are still connected. Cars still drive. Military units still offer some small semblance of law and order. This isn’t a world that has collapsed, it is the decaying structure of a world still struggling to stand.

The Rover is a starkly beautiful and haunting film, one that says a lot with only a few scattered words. It’s unsettling not in its portrayal of a world that is dead, but instead in its attempt to capture a world struggling to keep breathing.

As the world burns…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: apocalypse, Australia, david michod, economic collapse, film, Guy Pearce, Joel Edgerton, non-review review, post-apocalyptic, review, Robert Pattinson, the collapse, the end of the world as we know it, the rover | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted on July 31, 2014 by Darren

Guardians of the Galaxy hits a few bumps along the way, but it works very well.

The key to this would seem to be James Gunn. Like the best of the Marvel comic adaptations, Guardians of the Galaxy is a film that manages to find its own unique authorial voice amid the cross-pollination of Marvel’s vast cinematic universe. Like Shane Black on Iron Man 3, Kenneth Branagh on Thor or Jon Favreau on Iron Man, James Gunn manages to put his own unique stamp on Guardians of the Galaxy – a film that remains compellingly personal amid the apocalyptic 9/11 imagery.

Lighting the way…

While the film suffers from some of the structural weaknesses that are typical of Marvel’s blockbusters, its strengths come from the director and co-writer. Although set in a vast universe with epic stakes and impossible odds, Guardians of the Galaxy works best when it focuses on its characters, whether the human Peter Quill (with his “outlaw name” Star Lord), the killing machine Drax, the sentient and sensitive tree Groot, the racoon named Rocket or the prodigal daughter named Gamora.

Guardians of the Galaxy is a film that introduces itself to the image of Peter Quill dancing beneath the logo, to the tune of Fooled Around and Fell In Love by Elvin Bishop, playing from a cassette labelled “Awesome Mix, Vol. 1.” That is all you need to know.