Non-Review Reviews | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: The Last Exorcism

Posted on September 28, 2010 by Darren

The fundamental problem with The Last Exorcism is that it tries to be too many things, while being unwilling to completely invest in any of them. Is it an exploration of the culture of “showy exorcisms” (where the preacher himself refers to it as “a sham”)? Is it a jerky, handheld homage to The Exorcism, filtered through Paranormal Activity? Is it an indictment of small insular communities and the sinister ideas which may underpin them, as in The Wicker Man? It seems to be all three at once, which is a problem, as the three don’t gel together too well in a two-hour film.

The movie certainly isn't a blessing...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Blair Witch Project, Cotton Marcus, exorcism, film, horror, Horror film, Last Exorcism, Movie, Movies, non-review review, paranormal activity, religion, review, the last exorcism, United States | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Ondine

Posted on September 27, 2010 by Darren

I like Neil Jordan. He’s probably the greatest Irish director, and one of the few directors who can switch back and forth between big Hollywood productions like The Brave One and quirkier Irish films like Ondine, with neither feeling particularly strange or inappropriate for its particular genre. Ondine is Jordan’s attempt at a lowkey Irish fairytale, told in a small fishing village down in Cork – calling to mind the sort of stereotypical portrayal of country life in Ireland, filled with drunkards and gossiping locals, where everyone knows everyone else and a stranger is instantly remarked upon. It’s to Jordan’s credit that the film works as well as it does. The director manages to create a genuine sense of magic and whimsy which carries a large portion of the film. However, like most magic and slight of hand, if you look too closely you’re liable to figure out that nothing’s going on.

Does Neil Jordan's latest hold water?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Brave One, colin farrell, Dervla Kirwan, Ireland, irish cinema, irish film, mermaid, Movie, neil jordan, non-review review, Ondine, review, selkie, Stephen Rea, Tiny Tim | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Adaptation

Posted on September 24, 2010 by Darren

I sit down. I stare at the screen. I have to write a review. I probably shouldn’t. What do I say? I mean, do I get the film, do I understand it? It’s all very meta-fictional and heavy, a little too meta-fictional perhaps. I pause. Did I just type the words “a little too meta-fictional”? I read back up a line. I did. I sigh. Reviewing Charlie Kaufman is hard work. Reviewing Adaptation is really hard. Why can’t I review something simple, you know with gunfights and car chases and a standard three-act structure? Yeah, something bland, something boring.

Hm. I could really use a line break here.

I could make a pun about brothers here, but that's a bit trite, isn't it?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: adaptation, Charlie Kaufman, Chris Cooper, donald kaufman, film, hollywood, meryl streep, Movie, nicolas cage, Orchid Thief, spike jonze, susan orlean | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: The Shawshank Redemption

Posted on September 23, 2010 by Darren

I have to admit, I’ve always found The Shawshank Redemption a tad overhyped. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a masterfully made film with a fantastic cast and a fantastic score from a director at the very top of his game. Still, the movie’s never entirely won me over – perhaps because I can’t entirely buy into the parable of hope and redemption that is being spun. It’s very powerful stuff, but I can’t help but feel a little cheated with the fact that the movie asks us to believe that something good came of the pit of human suffering at Shawshank.

You can easily get board in Shawshank...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: bob gunton, clancy brown, frank darabont, Morgan Freeman, Movies, prison, Shawshank Redemption, tim robbins | 7 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb)

Posted on September 20, 2010 by Darren

What I’m about to say is grounds for excommunication from the church of film geekdom, but I am not a huge Stanley Kubrick fan. I admire and appreciate his work from a technical level and there are a few of his films I would credit as genuine classics – and yet there are others that I am markedly indifferent to. Cinematic purists will balk when I suggest The Shining – that most commercially Hollywood production – is my favourite of Kubrick’s film. Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb) is widely regarded as a classic of Cold War cinema, but I must concede that I can’t help but feel a little disconnected from it. Of course quite a large portion of the film (particularly the broader comedy) is still hilarious, but the film refers to a world that I never really knew – I was born in the twilight of the Soviet Union, disconnected from this heated level of nuclear paranoia.

There's nothing strange about the love for this film...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Cold War, doctor strangelove, dr. strangelove, Dr. Strangelove (Or: How I Learnt to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb), film, george c. scott, john f kennedy, Movie, non-review review, Peter Seller, peter sellers, review, slim pickens, Soviet Union, stanley kubrick, Strangelove | 8 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Scream Blacula Scream

Posted on September 17, 2010 by Darren

I curse you with my name. You shall be… Blacula! Vampire!

– the only thing worse than Dracula is racist!Dracula

I have to concede, Scream Blacula Scream (what a title!) is actually pretty high end blaxploitation. Sure it’s cornier than my foot after a long hike, but it never truly descends into the realm of self-parody that we seem to have (at least retroactively) come to expect from such blaxploitation films. This is actually a sequel to the previous year’s Blacula. Although I wasn’t really going in expecting much, what I got was certainly better than a large portion of the generic Hammer Horror films of the era. This is certainly helped no end by the lead performance from William Marshall who – even in a silly cape – manages to lend proceedings a touch of class.

Fangs for the memories...

Note: I have to concede that I am pretty ticked off with MGM HD. They’ve been running this as the UK High Definition Premiere of “Blacula”, but it’s actually the sequel. Not that I’m complaining too much, but it feels weird to see the sequel before the original.

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, Blacula, Blacula Scream, blaxploitation, dracula, film, Hammer Film Productions, horror, Movie, non-review review, Pam Grier, review, scream blacula scream, William Marshall | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: Clash of the Titans

Posted on September 16, 2010 by Darren

It has been a couple of years since the last proper swords-and-sandals epic. It’s hard to look past the glossy stylised design of 300 and the discussions of racial politics which surrounded it. Troy and Alexander were hardly solid examples of the genre which had been at the height of its popularity more than half a century ago. Aside from Gladiator, it’s hard to point to another big screen classical action movie that manages to do what it says on the tin. Although it’s a long way from perfect, Clash of the Titans at least delivers the intriguing visuals and impressive action that one expects from the genre. I was pleasantly surprised.

A friendship in ruins...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Ancient Greece, clash of the titans, classics, film, Gemma Arterton, greece, greek mythology, hades, liam neeson, louis leterrier, Movie, non-review review, ralph fiennes, review, rome, Sam Worthington, swords and sandals, unleash the kraken, zeus | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Tron

Posted on September 14, 2010 by Darren

Tron is a cult classic, and one which truly earns its strips. Unlike, say, Blade Runner, which is frequently identified as a “cult classic”, I don’t think it’s possible to make a strong argument that Tron is simply a masterpiece which underperformed upon its release. As much as modern movies are seriously indebted to Tron and the way it redefined what computers could offer a movie-making experience, it’s still a deeply flawed movie which will only really appeal to a very select bunch of filmgoers. Thankfully, I discovered, I am one of them.

Seeing red (and other primary colours)...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: animation, arts, blade runner, cgi, film, flynn, jeff bridges, Movie, non-review review, review, sarn, tr0n, tron, tron: legacy, Video game | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Terminator Salvation

Posted on September 13, 2010 by Darren

There are perhaps some franchises which really shouldn’t endure after the departure of the creative brain behind the operation. Some would argue that The West Wing should have ended after Aaron Sorkin departed, and I would argue that Warner Brothers should probably reboot Batman after Nolan leaves, rather than continuing his saga (since there’s no way they’ll let that franchise lie fallow). Terminator is perhaps another example. The first two films are iconic, towering science-fiction masterpieces which perfectly blend big ideas with visceral thrills – The Terminator is a tightly constructed urban thriller, while Terminator 2: Judgement Day helped define what a blockbuster should look like. However, once Cameron departed, the franchise was somehow allowed to continue limping on. After the really awful Terminator 3: The Rise of the Machines, I was willing to let the series die. However, somehow we got a fourth movie. And, despite all my misgivings and preconceptions, it isn’t bad. It isn’t great, but it isn’t terrible.

Sam Worthington needs a Bale-out...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: anton yelchin, Avatar (2009 film), christian bale, common, films, james cameron, John Connor, kyle reese, mcg, michael ironside, Moon Bloodgood, Movies, non-review review, review, terminator, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, terminator: salvation, West Wing | 13 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Bounty Hunter

Posted on September 10, 2010 by Darren

It’s a movie which stars Gerard Butler as a bounty hunter. It should at least feature infinitely greater amounts of gratuitous violence, even if it was always going to be just this boring.