non-review review | the m0vie blog

Non-Review Review: The Guard

Posted on July 6, 2011 by Darren

“Good to go,” an Irish drug smuggler remarks as the plan comes together for a big delivery. His English colleague derisively remarks, “I f**king hate that. Americanisms. ‘Good to go’!” It’s hard not to read small moments like this as a bit of self-reference on the part of John Michael McDonagh, as the film takes every opportunity to reflect on the Irish fascination and digestion of American pop culture, as contrasted against the somewhat unique national character. Sparkling with witty dialogue and packed with sharply-observed commentaries on Ireland and its relationship with our bigger Atlantic cousin, The Guard is a clever little film that is well worth your time.

Once upon a time in the West...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: brendan gleeson, buddy cop film, buddy film, comedy, don cheadle, Eddie Rockets, Federal Bureau of Investigation, films, Fionnula Flanagan, Ireland, irish cinema, john mcdonagh, liam cunningham, mark strong, Movies, non-review review, review, the guard, United States | 17 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Posted on July 4, 2011 by Darren

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is a movie that really works very much better than it really should. It’s clunky, predictable and standard box office fare, hardly designed to provoke or probe the extremes of the human imagination. It opens with a clunky exposition-filled narration which crams an entire franchise’s worth of back story into what should be a simple and straight forward tale, which even Ian McShane’s distinctive tones can’t completely elevate. From there on out, its by-the-numbers and fairly straight-forward. On the other hand, the movie has something that the vast majority of other summer blockbusters are seriously lacking in.

And that thing, my friends, is Nicolas Cage.

Cage certainly takes some balsy roles...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: blockbuster, Fantasia, films, ian mcshane, Jay Baruchel, Mickey Mouse, Movies, nicolas cage, non-review review, review, Sorcerer's Apprentice, the sorcere's apprentice, tropic thunder, Wicker Man | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Drive Angry

Posted on July 1, 2011 by Darren

I really liked Drive Angry, which feels like cinematic junk food. It’s not especially well-made, it’s not good for you, but damn if it isn’t just a little bit tasty. It’s not art, it won’t make you think, and it isn’t going to appear on too many “best of”lists. However, it’s the dirtiest, trashiest, most ridiculously over-the-top adventure that I’ve seen in quite some time. It might have felt like the engine was going to pull right out of the body, but it was a heck of a ride.

When you Cage the Beast, the Beast gets angry...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Accountant, Bible Belt, Drive Angry, film, films, John Milton, Last Exorcism, Movies, nicolas cage, non-review review, review, Satan, United States, william fichtner | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Posted on June 30, 2011 by Darren

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a wasted opportunity. The superb graphic novels by Alan Moore are among the best that comics have to offer, and even the basic concept of picking a variety of public domain character to base an action adventure around has a sort of pulpy thrill to it. It could have been a very witty and a very clever film, or it could have just been an effective big-budget blockbuster. In the end, unfortunately, the film is neither – it ends up feeling more like a waste of effort for all involved.

I feel like shredding this film...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alan moore, art, British Empire, Captain Nemo, films, league of extraordinary gentlemen, meta-fiction, Mina Harker, Mister Hyde, Movies, non-review review, review, Tony Curran | 2 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Transformers 3 – Dark of the Moon

Posted on June 28, 2011 by Darren

Here’s the thing: I don’t really expect a lot from Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It’s a movie about two rival factions of robots who engage in civil war on Earth. It’s not the stuff of epic tragedy or cinematic masterpieces. It’s designed to offer knock-down brawls, superb CGI, stunning action and a handful of fist-pumping moments. I’m cool with that. I don’t expect any more than that, and – to a certain extent – the movie meets my basic needs. However, despite a superb supporting cast and some superb special effects, the movie feels a little too self-important and po-faced to ever really engage. The final forty minutes are something to behold, but there’s just too much mundane plotting and pompous pseudo-philosophical rambling in the first two hours to really justify it.

Jump in my car...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: action, Autobot, blockbusters, Buzz Aldrin, cartoon, cgi, films, michael bay, Movies, non-review review, Optimus Prime, review, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, shia labeouf, shia labouef, the dark of the moon, transformers, transformers 3, transformers 3: dark of the moon, transformers 3: the dark of the moon, transformers: dark of the moon, transformers: the dark of the moon, United States | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: The Next Three Days

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Darren

The Next Three Days is actually, when it gets down to it, quite a clever and inventive little prison break movie, with a strong central performance from Russell Crowe, with a smart script and a great supporting cast. However, the problem is that, for a prison break movie, the actual prison break only takes up a relatively small amount of the film. While it’s clear a great deal of care and research went into the production, and it feels like Paul Haggis is really showing his work, it throws the pacing off a bit, and feels almost like we’re watching the episodic adventures of a guy planning to break his wife out of prison.

This couple really needs a break...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Brian Dennehy, DVD, elizabeth banks, escaping from prison, film, jailbreak, liam neeson, Movie, Movies, next 3 days, Next Three Days, non-review review, Olivia Wilde, paul haggis, prison break, review, russell crowe, the next 3 days, the next three days | 4 Comments »

On Second Thought: Apocalypse Now (Redux)

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Darren

I wrote in my review of the original version of the movie that the two-and-a-half-hour cut captured a great deal of the insanity that seems to have been a defining characteristic of the Vietnam War, with the movie feeling like a crazed surrealist trip into madness, a collection of abstract meditations on the American condition that felt compressed at over two hours. If that is the case, Apocalypse Now Redux captures another aspect of the conflict. It’s now less insane, but the instability and absurdity appear more systemic and endemic. It’s bloated, terrifying, harrowing and seemingly eternal.

Much like the war itself.

Back into the Heart of Darkness...

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Filed under: On Second Thought | Tagged: apocalypse now, Apocalypse Now Redux, directors cut, film, francis ford coppola, history, marlon brando, martin sheen, Movie, non-review review, review, Twentieth Century, United States, vietnam, Vietnam War | 6 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Flightplan

Posted on June 23, 2011 by Darren

Truth be told, I think part of the reason I have a soft spot for Flightplan is simply because Jodie Foster doesn’t make enough films. She’s an actress who devotes so little time to major releases of late that each of her movies is a gem of itself. That’s not to argue that she shouldn’t spend time with her family or pursue other interests, it’s just an acknowledgement that she’s really one of the best actresses working today and – sadly – works all too infrequently. She’s an actress who can add a high level of quality to what might otherwise be a mundane production, and here she manages to turn a rather disappointing thriller into an enjoyable hour-and-a-half of entertainment.

Aisle watch Jodie Foster in anything...

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, British English, conspiracy, crazy, films, Flightplan, imaginary, jodie foster, kidnapping, Movie, Movies, non-review review, panic room, peter saarsgard, Peter Sarsgaard, review, sean bean, timothy dalton | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Bridesmaids

Posted on June 22, 2011 by Darren

It’s kinda interesting. Bridesmaids opens over here a month or so after it does in the States, so I’ve had the opportunity to pick up quite a significant amount of chatter on the film, as a good film tends to attract on the information super highway. Most of the discussion around the film has been centred around the movie’s gross-out humour, with reviews branding it as “The Hangover in heels”or some such, and a great deal of discussion focusing on the fact that it demonstrates women can do that sort of disgusting and crass physical comedy. Such a discussion seems to be just a little bit over-the-top, as the movie really only features three absurdly crass set pieces (one of which admittedly opens the film, another competes with anything else in a comedy this year, and the third is tucked away in the credits) – so much so I doubt anyone would bat their eye if the same level of juvenile conduct were contained in a film about a bunch of dudes. It’s a damn shame that this seems to monopolise the conversation on Bridesmaids, because it’s actually just a really good film.

Maids of honour?

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Annie, brides, Bridesmaid, comedies, comedy, feminism, films, funny women, greg kinnear, Hangover, John Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Movies, non-review review, review, Rose Byrne, the hangover, tina fey, weddings | 4 Comments »

Non-Review Review: Shelter

Posted on June 21, 2011 by Darren

Shelteris a horror with an intriguing original premise. However, it’s also packed with tonnes of other premises, some of which are remotely interesting, while others are quite mundane. It’s an uneven film, which actually works best when it paces itself more as a thriller or a mystery than an out-and-out horror, but there are weaker choices out there.