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Non-Review Review: Centurion

I have to admit, I’m a bit disappointed with Neil Marshall. I’ll concede that I genuinely enjoyed Dog Soldiers and The Descent, while acknowledging their flaws. His movies have a tendency to start in the absurd and just keep amping things up until they get unbelievably ridiculous. Even the over-the-top and quite-crap-actually Doomsday still had a lot of energy to carry it through as it gleefully veered through camp straight out into uncharted realms of gratuitous nonsense. On the other hand, Marshall’s latest, Centurion, seems relatively tame. It’s fairly mediocre throughout, which perhaps seems less entertaining because it never has the energy to go too far. And that’s a bit of shame.

The last Fassbender?

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Natural Born Predators…

I have to admit, I’m a little excited about Predators. It seems that I’m really more excited about next year’s cinematic treats – Green Lantern, Predators, Inception, even Iron Man 2 – than I am about what lies ahead for this year, well outside this month’s releases. Avatar is going to be groundbreakingly jaw dropping, but it’s not really interesting to think about it. It’s boringly amazing, if that is possible. Predators, on the other hand, is great fun to speculate about. Sure, it’s a rake of horror monsters from the past few decades being revitalised – like Freddie Kruger who has a three-picture deal and the Weinstein Company returning to its roots with a remake of An American Werewolf in London – but Predators is the only one of the remakes of more modern schlock that seems to have a chance of not sucking. I love Jackie Earle Haley, but even I can tell that a Nightmare on Elm Street reboot is a bad idea. I’m sure he could prove me wrong on that count, but I’m not expecting to him to. And I think that quirky genre-bending flicks are hard to emulate the second-time around, so I’m nervouse about remaking Landis’ low budget classic. So, Predators is the most hopeful of the bunch.

The thing's got dreadlocks... geddit? Dread... locks... no?

The thing's got dreadlocks... geddit? Dread... locks... no?

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