Posted on July 8, 2011 by Darren
I have a genuine affection for Mars Attacks! It’s certainly not Tim Burton’s best work, but it’s also miles above some of his more disappointing output. It feels like an affectionate homage to Ed Wood, putting together the kind of movie that the old B-movie director would have approved of, except with the judgement to play it as a comedy rather than entirely straight (although Wood’s filmography is typically “so bad it’s good“, one could scarcely accuse the director of being in on the joke), and made with a more significant budget. Seen in that light, it’s hard to resist the movie’s (admittedly uneven) charms.

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, they say...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: arts, cheesy, danny elfman, Ed Wood, film, films, hokey, hokey sci-fi, jack nicholson, Mars Attacks!, Martian, martians, Movie, Movies, non-review review, paul winfield, pulp, pulp fiction, pulp sci-fi, review, sci-fi, tim burton, Topps | 4 Comments »
Posted on July 7, 2011 by Darren
Larry Crowne isn’t a terrible movie, but rather a frustrating one. Written by, directed by, and starring, Tom Hanks, the movie seems to want to be a romantic comedy skewered towards older and more mature viewers, which is a great idea – not only because so few movies cater to that demographic, but because the few comedies that do have been proven successes. The audience is there, and it’s a great idea to unite Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks, the king and queen of the classy nineties rom-com in a film that might have a more considered and reflective edge over most other romantic comedies. Unfortunately, the movie is so ridiculously pedestrian that it’s hard to work up any excitement. If the movie, rather than the character, were doing the college courses in the film, it would get graded “must do better.”

A scoot couple...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Bryan Cranston, film, films, George Takei, julia roberts, Larry Crowne, Movies, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Nia Vardalos, non-review review, Pam Grier, review, romantic comedy, tom hanks | 2 Comments »
Posted on July 7, 2011 by Darren
I do quite like Monsters vs. Aliens, even if it feels like it’s trying to do too many vastly different things are once. It’s too goofy and silly to be a genuinely emotional morality tale about appreciating those different than us, while also being too sentimental to work as a sort of a goofy hokey monster mash nostalgia trip. One gets the sense that it could have been a much better film had it opted for one approach rather than the other, instead of trying to straddle the middle ground between them. It’s a shame, because it has some genuinely impressive sequences and warm sense of respect and good humour for all those classic creature features, but it just ends up feeling too much like a standard cookie-cutter modern animated film.

It's a Monster Mash!
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Amazing Colossal Man, animation, arts, dr. strangelove, dreamworks, films, hugh laurie, Monsters Vs Aliens, Movies, non-review review, paul rudd, Reese Witherspoon, review, Seth Rogen | Leave a comment »
Posted on July 6, 2011 by Darren
“Good to go,” an Irish drug smuggler remarks as the plan comes together for a big delivery. His English colleague derisively remarks, “I f**king hate that. Americanisms. ‘Good to go’!” It’s hard not to read small moments like this as a bit of self-reference on the part of John Michael McDonagh, as the film takes every opportunity to reflect on the Irish fascination and digestion of American pop culture, as contrasted against the somewhat unique national character. Sparkling with witty dialogue and packed with sharply-observed commentaries on Ireland and its relationship with our bigger Atlantic cousin, The Guard is a clever little film that is well worth your time.

Once upon a time in the West...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: brendan gleeson, buddy cop film, buddy film, comedy, don cheadle, Eddie Rockets, Federal Bureau of Investigation, films, Fionnula Flanagan, Ireland, irish cinema, john mcdonagh, liam cunningham, mark strong, Movies, non-review review, review, the guard, United States | 17 Comments »
Posted on July 5, 2011 by Darren
I happened to catch a few minutes of Anger Management on television last night. Not enough that I’d feel comfortable reviewing it, but enough to remember most of what I needed to about the movie – which was a perfectly standard Adam Sandler comedy notable for affording the comedian the opportunity to play opposite Jack Nicholson. Nicholson who was an autopilot for the most of the film, but managed to deliver one of the most awkwardly creepy-and-hilarious moments in recent cinematic history as his eyebrows urge Sandler’s character to deliver the line, “I’m sorry I was so rude before… but… it’s difficult for me… to… express myself… when I am on the verge of… exploding in my pants.” Aside from that surreal perv-y old man moment, Nicholson seemed to be in the film mostly for the pay check, which seems to be a recurring trend these days for all manner of respected veteran actors. It’s easy to label performances by Al Pacino in Righteous Kill and 88 Minutes or Robert DeNiro in Little Fockers as classic actors “selling out”, but is it really that big a deal? Is it something we can begrudge these one-time icons?

Most of his paychecks get made out to "Jack Nicholson's eybrows"...
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: acting, adam sandler, al pacino, big names, films, hollywood, jack nicholson, Leonardo diCaprio, martin scorsese, meryl streep, money, Movies, raúl juliá, righteous kill, robert deniro, sellign out | 4 Comments »
Posted on July 4, 2011 by Darren
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is a movie that really works very much better than it really should. It’s clunky, predictable and standard box office fare, hardly designed to provoke or probe the extremes of the human imagination. It opens with a clunky exposition-filled narration which crams an entire franchise’s worth of back story into what should be a simple and straight forward tale, which even Ian McShane’s distinctive tones can’t completely elevate. From there on out, its by-the-numbers and fairly straight-forward. On the other hand, the movie has something that the vast majority of other summer blockbusters are seriously lacking in.
And that thing, my friends, is Nicolas Cage.

Cage certainly takes some balsy roles...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: blockbuster, Fantasia, films, ian mcshane, Jay Baruchel, Mickey Mouse, Movies, nicolas cage, non-review review, review, Sorcerer's Apprentice, the sorcere's apprentice, tropic thunder, Wicker Man | 6 Comments »
Posted on July 1, 2011 by Darren
I really liked Drive Angry, which feels like cinematic junk food. It’s not especially well-made, it’s not good for you, but damn if it isn’t just a little bit tasty. It’s not art, it won’t make you think, and it isn’t going to appear on too many “best of”lists. However, it’s the dirtiest, trashiest, most ridiculously over-the-top adventure that I’ve seen in quite some time. It might have felt like the engine was going to pull right out of the body, but it was a heck of a ride.

When you Cage the Beast, the Beast gets angry...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Accountant, Bible Belt, Drive Angry, film, films, John Milton, Last Exorcism, Movies, nicolas cage, non-review review, review, Satan, United States, william fichtner | 2 Comments »
Posted on June 30, 2011 by Darren
Man, I watched Apocalypse Now Redux last weekend, and my butt is still a little bit numb. Clocking in at well over three hours, I couldn’t help but find my attention wandering, despite the fact that I was deeply interested in the story unfolding in front of me. Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life, which I am very much looking forward to, hasn’t opened over here yet, but there are already rumours circulating at a cut of the movie over six hours long. As much as I want to see the film, and as much of the director’s vision as I might want to take in, I can’t help but feel that 360+ minutes might just be too long for a single sitting.

You could nearly grow a tree during the length of Malick's proposed six-hour cut...
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Filed under: Movies | Tagged: art, arts, Blu-ray Disc, brad pitt, butt numb, dark knight, david lynch, DVD, film, film length, film runtime, Filmmaking, films, length of a film, Movie, Movies, runtime, Terrence Malick, Tree of Life | 9 Comments »
Posted on June 30, 2011 by Darren
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is a wasted opportunity. The superb graphic novels by Alan Moore are among the best that comics have to offer, and even the basic concept of picking a variety of public domain character to base an action adventure around has a sort of pulpy thrill to it. It could have been a very witty and a very clever film, or it could have just been an effective big-budget blockbuster. In the end, unfortunately, the film is neither – it ends up feeling more like a waste of effort for all involved.

I feel like shredding this film...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: alan moore, art, British Empire, Captain Nemo, films, league of extraordinary gentlemen, meta-fiction, Mina Harker, Mister Hyde, Movies, non-review review, review, Tony Curran | 2 Comments »
Posted on June 28, 2011 by Darren
Here’s the thing: I don’t really expect a lot from Transformers: Dark of the Moon. It’s a movie about two rival factions of robots who engage in civil war on Earth. It’s not the stuff of epic tragedy or cinematic masterpieces. It’s designed to offer knock-down brawls, superb CGI, stunning action and a handful of fist-pumping moments. I’m cool with that. I don’t expect any more than that, and – to a certain extent – the movie meets my basic needs. However, despite a superb supporting cast and some superb special effects, the movie feels a little too self-important and po-faced to ever really engage. The final forty minutes are something to behold, but there’s just too much mundane plotting and pompous pseudo-philosophical rambling in the first two hours to really justify it.

Jump in my car...
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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: action, Autobot, blockbusters, Buzz Aldrin, cartoon, cgi, films, michael bay, Movies, non-review review, Optimus Prime, review, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, shia labeouf, shia labouef, the dark of the moon, transformers, transformers 3, transformers 3: dark of the moon, transformers 3: the dark of the moon, transformers: dark of the moon, transformers: the dark of the moon, United States | 6 Comments »