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Non-Review Review: G.I. Joe – Retaliation

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Darren

I’m actually just a little bit divided on G.I. Joe: Retaliation. It is not, by any measure, a good film. It’s messy, it’s muddled, it’s over-complicated and under-developed at the same time, it’s nonsense, it’s dumb, it’s loud and it’s all over the map. However, some small part of me sort of admired that G.I. Joe: Retaliation had managed to so perfectly evoke the sensation of playing with toys. Had you given my eight-year-old self a box of G.I. Joe toys and told me to play for two hours, my playtime might have been plotted somewhat similarly to this film. I will concede that I admire the way that G.I. Joe: Retaliation feels more like a bunch of kids playing with toys than a carefully constructed action movie.

At the same time, however, I’m not afraid to admit that my eight-year-old self would have directed a pretty terrible action film.

Rock on…

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Filed under: Non-Review Reviews | Tagged: Action film, Adrianne Palicki, Channing Tatum, COBRA Commander, Destro, DJ Cotrona, DVD, Dwayne Johnson, gi joe, GI Joe: Retaliation, Joe, jonathan pryce, Retaliation, Roadblock, star trek, Storm Shadow, Toy, transformers, United States | Leave a comment »

Non-Review Review: G.I. Joe – The Rise of Cobra

Posted on November 2, 2010 by Darren

I never grew up with G.I. Joe. For me it was Batman: The Animated Series or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. To me, this franchise was just a bunch of generic toy soldiers – in fact, I didn’t even know that they had separate names or defining characteristics. So I come to this movie without a sense of nostalgia or a familiarity with the core product. So, Stephen Sommers’ adaptation of the popular multi-media franchise to the big screen is my first major exposure to the product, and it left me feeling like I’d spent two hours watching a guy playing with toys, rather than making a movie. One of the characters even has a “kung-fu grip”.