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Non-Review Review: Armageddon

At least Michael Bay’s Armageddon is honest with you from the opening moments. A deep and thoughtful voice provides an explanation of how a single hunk of space rock managed to wipe out the dinosaurs, complete with an illustration of that important moment. Now, as a viewer, you are confronted with two options. Your choice will define whether you enjoy the movie, or whether it ends up causing you serious physical pain. Your options are: (a.) sit back and enjoy the fact that Bay opened his movie with a pseudo-science lecture which had the decency to include an explosion with the force of “ten thousand nuclear bombs”; (b.) wonder why, if this scene is set millions of years ago, the continents are all in exactly the same places they are today.

We'll always have Paris... Oh, wait...

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