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Marbles: The Movie! – The Poster!

… aka, I love you even more, Roger Ebert!

That man really hates Transformers 2 – in case you didn’t read his response to those critics of critics. Or maybe it was the announcement of a Viewfinder and an Asteroids movie within the same week that led him to publish a list of his most-anticipated toyetic movies in the years to come. It is awesome and totally worth a look at the link. Anyway, one of his ideas was so fiendishly brilliant I couldn’t resist doing a draft mock-up of the poster…

I give you Marbles: The Movie, with Ebert plot summary below…

Alternative Tagline: "Get some balls"

Alternative Tagline: "Get some balls"

Marbles! Secret of the Universe! Nicolas Cage plays an astrophysicist at MIT who intercepts the feed from the Hubble Space Telescope and determines that the stars in the sky are in fact giant, brilliantly-glowing marbles. Enhancing the digital information, he discovers a giant thumb and forefinger in the abyss beyond space. They hold an aggie.

‘Roid Rage: Univeral Presents Asteroids – The Movie

An Asteroids movie is coming. Yes, it’s like all your 1980’s Christmases are coming at once. The Atari classic about a two-dimensional triangle which blasts two-dimensional representations of asteroids is getting the deluxe movie treatment. And we’re as excited as anyone else! Which is not very excited at all. I would love to have been at that pitch meeting.

“So, what’s the plot about?”
“A two-dimensional triangle which blasts two-dimensional representations of asteroids.”
“Oh…”
“And in some modern versions, the triangle is different colours.”
“Sold!”

I wish I were making this up...

I wish I were making this up...

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